You’re online, and having a good time. You’re interacting with several fun people. It’s time to start narrowing your lists down. Some of the people you’ve met will only be friends. There are a couple of others you would like to get to know on a more intimate level.

1. The ones you have identified as "friends only" should have certain rules and guidelines. One of the rules are, you do not ask or answer intimate questions. It is not okay to discuss intimate details of your sexual likes and dislikes. If you allow this to happen, you are giving the wrong impression and the other person is being misled. Simply state; "I think you and I will be good friends one day. And because of that, I really don’t feel comfortable discussing things of this nature." If the emails continue to be sexually oriented, you must let them know. "It looks like we both want different things from this relationship. I really don’t think it’s going to work. Good luck in your search." Stop all contact! If the emails continue, do not open them. Contact the site administrator; ask how you can block them.

2. If during the initial emails, you are uncomfortable with their language, racial slurs, religious disrespect, etc. you must let them know, and end all communications. Someone asked me, "I’m sure if I tell them that I don’t like it, they will stop. Right?" Actually, no. They may stop temporarily, but only long enough to get you vested into the "relationship". Then the "true them" will re-surface. I would send an email like, "I’m sure you are a nice person, but your lack of respect for women and minorities really makes me uncomfortable. Good luck..." That’s it! Not another word...

Some of us singles are so tired of being alone, that we try to "make" ourselves adapt to others that we would normally reject from our lives. We constantly tell ourselves that "they’re really not that bad!" But if we find it offensive? It is that bad! We do not have to accept "any" and "every" thing!