I was recently in New York City, standing in line at Starbucks when my friend pointed out this sign to me: "Make Yourself Happy - Choose a Sweet Indulgence or a Non-Fat Option." As initially tempting as all the treats in the case behind the sign looked, I had to laugh at the irony of the words on the sign. Nothing against Starbucks (I'm a huge fan of their chai tea mistos), because they are only a small part of a huge industry that sells false messages about food, but I have got to set the record straight. Low fat will not make you happy. Neither will a sweet indulgence. Temporarily, maybe. Long term, never.

We are born into a world where we are given mixed messages about food, especially sugar. On the one hand: don't eat sweets -they are bad for you! They will make you fat! They will cause your teeth to rot! They will give you diabetes! And on the other hand: Eat sweets - they will make you happy! Or creative! Or inspired! Let's celebrate with cake! Here's a piece of candy, now please stop crying! Or here's a cookie because you were good! I love you - here's chocolate!

Pretty powerful - and confusing - messaging that is infiltrated into our brains from practically the time we are born (and then compounded a hundred times over by advertising). The message is this: That although sugar might be bad for our health, it can make us oh, so happy and, without it, our lives might feel depleted, depressing, loveless and lonely.

Although we all know that too much sugar is not good for us, many of my clients, readers, friends and people in the audience at my talks find this white substance (or another form of sugar, like alcohol, white flour, or other quickly absorbed carbohydrates from processed foods) addictive and compelling. Despite our best efforts at "willpower," almost everyone has experienced the "I NEED SOMETHING SWEET OR CRUNCHY OR ALCOHOLIC NOW" syndrome. . . that intense craving for some substance that will bring us comfort or relief or cheer. And the reason is: it works! It really does. . . that is, it works temporarily.

Like a drug, sugar (and its partners in crime) literally affects our brain so that we feel immediately relieved, calm and happy. Problem is, this feeling does not last and we often find ourselves later feeling equally - or more - down, upset or irritable. No amount of willpower works when our brains are working against us.

And here's another crazy thing: Many of us are so used to feeling irritable, anxious, mildly (or intensely) depressed, tired, unfocused, and full of cravings, that this state of being feels almost "normal." But let me assure you: this is not normal. When our brains and bodies are balanced, our normal state is to feel good. Energetic. Calm. Focused. Satisfied and fulfilled and nourished by our food and by our lives.

Now I am not blaming sugar for every emotional or physiological problem we experience. Anxiety, depression, irritability, lack of focus and cravings are often multi-determined and complex. And I must admit, I am hesitant to even write about this because I don't want to perpetuate the "bad food/good food" mindset that you may have. But, as a therapist and as a person who struggled with some depression, anxiety and eating problems myself, I am convinced that sugar's affect on our brain chemistry must be understood if we are to break out of some of these painful cycles.

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