I have a good friend, Billy, who has been in counseling for over ten years—one-third of his life. He truly needed counseling to deal with issues of abuse, anger and low-self esteem, and he made great progress in his counseling sessions with an experienced therapist. Yet, Billy reached a point where counseling was no longer beneficial. He had talked about—and talked about—his experiences from childhood, but he never moved beyond the memories of his younger years. As he continued to revisit the stories of his childhood, he kept the old feelings and experiences alive and in the present. He was not comfortable with letting go of the past and looking forward to the future. Billy identified so strongly with the victimized child that he had been, that he was not willing to embrace the empowered adult that he had become. His fears of releasing old thought patterns and beliefs kept him tied to a present experience of living his days in sadness and resentment. When I challenged him on his desire to stay tied to the past, he told me that he did not know where to go from here, so it was easier to stay where he was.

As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I have worked with many individuals who spent beneficial sessions discovering the source of their struggles while learning to find peace with their lives. The journey was often painful, but once light was shed on the experiences and relationships that molded who they came to be, they felt empowered and ready to reclaim their lives. Yet, my clients often found themselves at a loss as to what to do next. They had identified so strongly with the struggling person they came to be that they did not know what to do with the emerging, powerful individual they were becoming. Many feared this new persona, so they often reverted back to their old thoughts and beliefs of who they once were, and they stayed connected to their old, comfortable and struggling selves. Stepping into a life of happiness and contentment was far scarier than reliving the painful past. Letting go of the old stories was too big of a risk.

Counseling is an essential experience for many people. The goal of counseling is to look at past issues and discover how they are impacting the present. Yet, when insights have been achieved, it is time to leave the past behind and focus on the future. Individuals who feel they still need support in achieving their goals and hopes for the future can work with a life coach to help them in the transition. A life coach will provide the bridge that so many individuals need to move from counseling to independence as they discover how to live the lives of their dreams. Working with a coach can bring clarity and empowerment to finding true joy. Deciding to move forward and leave behind old beliefs, thoughts and perceptions about oneself can be a scary thought, but retreating back to the person of the past will never bring joy and fulfillment. If you have been in counseling for many years, talk to your therapist about reevaluating your goals for therapy and what it will look like when you are ready to move past counseling. When you are ready to leave the safety of therapy, consider working with a life coach to help you with the transition of focusing on the future. It will be a scary process—the unknown always is—but the freedom and joy you will experience in embracing your new self will be worth the risk.