"Mirroring": It’s often unknown and unnoticed when it’s done, but mirroring takes place everywhere. A sales person mirrors his client in the meeting, when talking a general employee mirrors their boss at the coffee machine, and so on. Mirroring takes place when we repeat the same gesture that someone else is making. If you’re talking to someone and they cross their arms, if we’re paying attention to them we often, instinctively, cross our arms as well. It’s a sign of attention. When you lean forward, does he lean forward also? If you lean back, does he follow? If so, you could be working your way to a second date! Mirroring may not only be physical, but we also tend to mirror the tones of voice that people use. If someone is talking in a hushed tone, we tend to move closer and lower our voice as well, and the same is true with the opposite. If someone is talking in a louder tone, we may raise our voice a bit to compare.

While these four items can be reliable, don’t count on them to work 100% of the time. People are different, and cultures are different. Some cultures naturally talk loud and with wild hand gesticulations, while others are more reserved, speaking in softer tones with hands neatly folded. Be sure to take your time, pay attention to both what the person is saying, and how they are saying it. From there, you’ll be able to get a good idea of how to proceed. Does Mr. This Weekend still stand a chance, or will you confirm that new date from Mr. Next Weekend?

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