Ilana Rubenfeld Ph.D knows first hand what having a conversation with your body means. A gifted violinist at the Julliard School of Music, Rubenfeld was well on her way to become the first woman conductor in the music scene when a debilitating back spasm cut short her music career. It was at that point that Rubenfeld turned to the resources of her body and transformed trauma into triumph by embarking on a personal mission to look for answers in the body’s wisdom. The result is "The Listening Hand: The Rubenfeld Synergy Method of Talk and Touch" which made her a world-recognized pioneer in integrating psychotherapy, body work and intuition. “You can learn to develop ‘listening hands’ in order to ‘hear’ changes in the body, she says. Talking with your body is the first step towards healing and integration.

Why? Emotions reside and are held inside the body. Any change or event produces a ripple effect throughout the entire physical, emotional, mental and spiritual system of a person. This ripple effect changes one’s equilibrium which means that a traumatic event has the power to “freeze” a person physically in the form of chronic neck, back or joint pain and emotionally in the form of depression, despair and anger. Unfreezing or thawing the body at emotional and physical levels means retrieving the memories that have been locked in the cells and re-integrating them through touch and talk with new and present perspectives. In this way, we access the dynamics of healing. What these dynamics mean is that all positions are malleable, provided we allow for their transformation. Talking to your body can literally dissolve painful memories that have been locked in different parts of our bodies. It is always in the present that these changes take place because all ”unfinished emotional business is integrated with “new insights into the present. ”

How do you talk with your body? Rubenfeld discusses several ways that we can use to open and maintain a steady dialogue with our body. The first way is touch. “Touch,” says Rubenfeld, “is a viable, accurate system of communication.” Think of the sense of security and warmth an infant feels when he is cuddled by his mother. Returning to touch is returning to our primal language.

Another form of body talk is good-humored, not sarcastic, laughter. Laughing dissolves fear and creates new neural pathways in our brain. Laughter dissolves patterns (which are usually petrified in the flesh) and allows us to think outside the box. And laughter, says Rubenfeld, “is all-pervasive in Rubenfeld Synergy.” Humor allows us to plumb the depths of our body and psyche so we can retrieve the gold that has been buried at the end of the tunnel. “It provides ways to express unacceptable feelings by allowing you to talk about dark emotions, fears and shame in trusting, safe, non-threatening ways.”

So does tuning into our emotional energy fields. Being aware of your own aura and how it interacts with another person’s aura is essential to understanding where you stand. We are all interconnected with one another, which means that if you ignore your partner’s energy field, your chances of having a meaningful relationship with that person becomes slim. Talking with your body enhances the conversations you have with your partner and friends.

A more involved form of body talk is the trance state. A trance state is a ”direct dialogue with the unconscious mind ,” says Rubenfeld. During a trance the rate of brain waves decreases which allows us to feel relaxed and focused at the same time. It is in this relaxed focused state that the mind is most open to suggestions. A trance state is a great opportunity to “rescript an event that was stressful, painful and uncomfortable .” In other words, a trance state allows you to rewrite your negative programming.

Consistent caring for your being is a form of body conversation. A continuous dialogue with the self is necessary when you make the effort to balance work and personal life, self and others, the heart and the head. On–going self care requires vigilance, the ability to listen to the body and take time out to address the issues your body is telling you.

Next time you feel unhinged because you have an unfinished project that is due the next day and you just learned that your son has been suspended from school, relax. Have a talk with your body; surrender yourself to humor, take an hour off for massage or bodywork, then go back to these issues. They will look a whole lot more manageable.