We humans are terrible at preparing for the crisis

It seems to me that many people tend to ignore their needs in mid-life. We tend to be very good at reacting to a crisis, but terrible at planning for one. I think this is the root of the problem. For example, many people stay in mundane, unfulfilling jobs because, in many ways, this is easier than confronting the unhappiness of a work life that is empty. Only when a crisis hits — and it usually will after 40 (a divorce, a layoff, an illness, children going off to college, money problems, and/or emotional problems) — do people finally start to spring into action. Why does it take so long?

While many people over 40 no longer feel contented with their work, they may still be challenged just enough so that they are not driven to make a change. As a result, their moods and their responses to their work tend to go up and down depending on the day. They may be very negative at one point or another, but then the next day is a little better, and they postpone making a change yet again. It also can be easy to escape the need to change — people become so busy each and every day that busy-ness itself becomes the escape and the excuse. Beware of the simple tasks

Some will suggest that mundane jobs are good. Mundane and boring work gives you time think about other things, and perhaps even allowing time to work on other things. People feel trapped by the promise of reward, and the threat of punishment at work. This too becomes a trap hard to escape from. There is a lever in the cage of work

Early experiments by B. F. Skinner involved placing animals in a cage without an escape route. Then later, he placed a lever inside the cage, and eventually the animals figured the way out. Humans are very similar, except that the lever is there all the time. It’s just that it takes a crisis for us to be able to see it. It is much too easy to become trapped by what is comfortable and routine until we suddenly find the secret to escaping.

Our self worth gets damaged when we are JUST working

Since we tend to carry our self-worth around with us, if we experience any failure in life, and especially in our work, we hesitate before trying anything new because failing again will, of course, hurt even more. People over 40 who have built their lives to this point are very risk averse. Any new venture or idea must be checked with others to make sure they will approve. If not, then surely we must not take a chance.

And discussing with co-workers that you are no longer finding joy in your work doesn’t help — this subject causes more discomfort than discussing sex. They don’t know how to respond. There doesn’t seem to be an immediate solution. After all, work is work, isn’t it? The problem: WE live our lives

YOU are the person who has to live with yourself. YOU have to look at yourself in the mirror each day, go to work, be active, and be comfortable with your decisions. Regardless of what others think or see in you, it is your own perspective of you that matters most. Your work determines who you are

Page 1 of 3 :: First | Last :: Prev | 1 2 3 | Next