It is a fact that more men are prepared to come for sexual counselling than for any other kind of therapy. Yet many are actually resistant to change. They have a fixed criterion for measuring success, believing that they lack masculinity if their performance is not perfect. For these purposes, perfection is defined as a state achieved by a man without regard to his partner’s wishes or needs. If it was good for him, it must have been good for her. This means the counsellor has to get the man to understand that sex is about more than his penis. It should be about giving and sharing pleasure with the woman as an active partner. Rebuilding the idea of sexual intimacy overcomes the fixed performance criterion. So the counsellor addresses the anxieties, inhibitions, anger and guilt that may be blocking real emotional feelings, and aims to replace them with thoughts, images, sensations and fantasies that can underpin a successful sexual relationships. In this, both parties have to take responsibility for their sexuality and sexual needs.

CBT therapists are trained to deal with a wide range of problems including sex. They are very goal-oriented and provide techniques, advice and counselling. Usually, performance will improve after a few visits, and most couples require no more than a few months of treatment before seeing some definite results. Once you have been started on the track to learn better sexual habits, you can begin to take Viagra, Cialis or Levitra as a reinforcement to maintain progress. But, in this, you should take the advice of your therapist.

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