When you become a parent, you are privy to a phenomenal blessing - the creation of happy, healthy, and successful children. But you cannot accomplish this unless you yourself are well grounded, because this grounding is what makes your efforts to be there for your kids today, tomorrow and always happen.

Everyone knows forgiveness is good, right, just, and important. It's just better when someone else is doing it. Forgiveness is in the Bible. You know about that even if you don't read the Bible. You know that every major religion in the world insists that we forgive our brothers and sisters. You know that Jesus Christ forgave the men who whipped him and crucified him. They did a lost worse to him than your wife or husband did to you.

At your core, you know that forgiveness is the way to go. We know instinctively, although sometimes it's really hard to see this, that's its best for us. But why is it so hard to forgive? Why is it that some really good people can't seem to forgive someone who's done them wrong? Sometimes the really good people, the ones you trust your life with, have an even harder time forgiving.

Why is it so hard to forgive? Why should I forgive? And how do I forgive? How can I bring myself to that place in time where I can fully forgive with heartfelt sincerity?

It's incredibly difficult to offer forgiveness if you were the one left behind (also known as the dumpee.) I suspect that many of my readers were the ones who got dumped. Ok, I was a dumpee and some of my best friends were dumpees. Over the long haul, the dumpees usually fair better. But to really do well in life, they have to get past this forgiveness thing. I really want to tell you that You have to forgive her (him) but I won't, because it's human nature to resist when another person tells you you have to do something. And, it would be really good for you and for your kids if you could forgive her (him).

Don't throw this article away! This is the part that's really valuable to your children. Right here is the secret that will be most effective in assuring your children that all's well. It will help them grow up healthy and happy. You might be thinking now that you're going to throw up because I keep talking about forgiving her and all you can do is imagine her having sex with someone else, behind your back, while you were a good husband. I'm telling you to forgive him and you think I don't understand because I'm just a stupid man and I can't possibly imagine how you feel, knowing you were taking care of little kids and making dinner and being a wonderful wife while your husband was meeting his secretary at a hotel. Let me assure you. I don't care about your cheating husband or lying wife. I care about your kids. I want to help you. This isn't about helping the person who is being forgiven. It's all about helping the one who is doing the forgiving.

When you extend forgiveness, that does not mean you approve of what your ex did. When you forgive your wife, you are not in any way approving of what she did. Forgiveness has nothing to do with right and wrong. It has everything to do with freedom and release. You've probably heard the saying that revenge is like taking poison and expecting your enemy to die. It's true. As I mentioned earlier, the ancients knew these things long before we were ever born.

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