Comment on Paragraph 1: As for any introduction, this is the part where you draw your audience attention so start with something interesting such as a story or a quote. Be creative.

Paragraph 2: Body

I chose to study Animal Science because of my love for animals and my almost passionate concern for their welfare. My personal belief that I can do something to make their lives better, through the course I am taking, has seen me through trying times. This passion has actually given me the motivation to face challenges head on. However, when times get too tough, I temporarily lose sight of my intentions. One example of such a tough time was when I took a Physics class. As a new immigrant from the Philippines, it was my third semester in an American college and everything was going well with my classes. At that time, I believed that I can handle anything thrown my way. Then this particular Physics class came along. There came a point during that semester when I was neglecting all my other classes just to be able to concentrate on this subject. Still, I was not doing well in that class. What I cannot comprehend was the fact that Physics fascinated me and I have actually come to like it. Yet, much as I try, my grades would not reflect that fascination. I remembered Rich saying that one of the factors of earning an education is taking responsibility toward one’s self. To me, this means that, even when grappling with hard work and having enough motivation are not sufficient to see me through difficult times, I have only myself to depend on to overcome the obstacles. When I was at the brink of giving up, I thought about what she said and told myself that one class would not hinder me from reaching my goals.

Comment on Paragraph 2:This is where you would 'show' the admissions committee what a great, driven student you are. Present them with the challenges you encountered and how you got through them. This will tell them that you are somebody who does not give up even when the circumstances are more difficult than you anticipated.

Paragraph 3: Closing Remarks

Going even further in taking responsibility for myself, I decided to apply to the Honors Program. After taking a study skills class, my perception of myself as being an average student changed. I learned from this class that smart students are not smart because they were born with it but because they knew how and what to study. Armed with new study strategies, I felt that I was ready to take on a more challenging experience. Indeed, the Honors classes provided me just that. Aside from being challenging, the rigorous classes have enriched me in a way that they encouraged me to be more analytical in dealing with various subject matters and to think critically about everything that is presented in front of me. These classes also provided me the opportunity to meet other highly motivated students who inspired me even more. The ties I have made with my fellow honors students still remain strong even when some of us have transferred to other universities. I was also fortunate to have had some of the best, devoted and caring teachers who are sincerely dedicated to their profession.

Comment on Paragraph 3:Expand on your idea from paragraph 2 and really close in on the deal by describing the person you have become. Talk about the people who have inspired you and who you will turn to for support when you encounter problems during college.

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