You're online and you have followed all our advice and now you are bombarded with potential dates. It's all exciting stuff. So what is the best way to manage the interest your brilliant profile has generated?

When you are contacted by one of the site members, here are some things to look out for before you respond. Remember, in profiles people can pretend to be someone their not, and they can be very convincing.

Apart form the obvious checking to see if their photo appeals to you, there are other things to look out for. See if there is a number of photo's in different situations, maybe with friends on holiday etc. The more the better, this will help you to know that the person is real (safety is critical) and gives you an idea of their life style. One photo is concerning because it might not be the person your replying to. If you are interested in this person ask for more photo's to be sent to your 'dating only free hotmail account'. It's not difficult to get a digital photo, cameras are everywhere, even in phones. If he or she refuses then walk away.

What Lies Beneath?

Next is deciphering their written profile. Notice what you are experiencing in you when you read the profile. What you really feel will be reflected in your gut feeling to what your reading, so listen to it. Of course everyone wants to come across as well as they can, but some do stretch the truth. Listen to you gut instinct, if you get an uncomfortable feeling when reading then stop and move on to the next profile.

Never make assumptions, these are killers for any relationship, (I will cover assumptions and their impact in a future post so look out for it). In profiles they can get you in quite a fix! E.g. you can create an expectation based only on your imagination about what you have read, and this can be a million miles from the actual truth. If you want a point in the profile qualified then ask, it will save a lot of time for both of you. If the feeling from what you have read is good then explore some more. Try to understand what the person is trying to tell you, and think up some questions that their profile has generated in you. Get as many facts until you feel comfortable.

The long and short of it!

Conversely if you are contacted by individuals who only comment on your picture (and men are worse for this) or they write a message that could fit anyone, be concerned as it could have been copied and pasted to 100's of women. What you are looking for is a message that you feel has been written to you, they have shown interest in your profile content and is straight to the point.

The initial message you write or receive should be short. Long first messages will not get read. Neither will a message that is too short. Men, please remember don't give a women a superficial few words like "your beautiful", "hot lady call me" or "I love your picture" from an online stranger these messages mean nothing, in fact worse than nothing. Whatever you write remember people are interested in people that are interested in them. Women on the whole are not interested in what car you drive, how much money you have or the fact that you wrestled crocodiles. Yes they want a man, but they want one who is interested in them. The material stuff comes second, anyone can be rich or strong but that does not make them a great partner.

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