Not many people know this, but as men, the most important tool we have for seducing women is our ears. So few men have mastered the skill of listening.

When learning this stuff, we are usually too focused on what we're saying rather than listening. But if you can simply listen well, she will open like a flower.

Listening seems passive, but it's not. The way she will sense that you are listening to her is by your RESPONSE to what she says.

Below are six ESSENTIAL listening skills. You can practice them every conversation you have with anybody, not just women.

Reflect Back to Her

Rephrase what she is saying.

"Wow, that's rough. So when you moved to New York, you didn't know a single person."

This is one of the most basic and important ways to listen to her. It shows that you understood her. Reflecting back to her will allow her to clarify. Don't be surprised if she begins to open up even more.

There is really no better way to show that you just heard what she is saying by repeating what she said in your own words.

Misunderstand Her

Wait--what?? How is this a listening skill?? It is actually an extremely important listening skill, if not the most important. Put another way:

Don't pretend you know what she's talking about. It's the worst.

Maybe she talks really fast and you are tempted to just say "Uh huh." Or she missed an important detail and you got lost. Stop her. And ask her what she is talking about.

"Wait, what? Where were your friends when this happened? I must have missed something."

When you are confident about not hiding the fact that you didn't understand her, it shows what a man you are. And she becomes confident that you truly understood other things she's telling you.

Disagree with Her

This is the key to being genuine. Nobody wants to hang around a YES man. People hate the guy who is too too nice. If someone disagrees with one thing you say and agrees with four other things, you feel like he truly agrees with those four other things. Where as if he agreed with everything, you might question his sincerity.

If you are a nice guy, it can be difficult to disagree with her. But that makes this all the more crucial.

It is a gentle art. Don't insult her life's work. Instead, find something a little less innocuous that you dislike or aren't into and say so.

"I can't believe you don't like sushi. That's so weird."

Practice this just to get into the habit. After a while you may not even have to do this explicitly, she'll hear it in your voice.

Let Her Change Your Mind

As men, we have a lot of pride. We always want to be right. Question something she says. Disagree with it. But sometimes let her change your mind It shows what a cool guy you are. And it shows you are truly open and listening to her.

"Wow, interesting. I like that. I never thought about it that way."

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