Giving a speech can be a daunting task for most people. In this article top professional speaker John Bell gives twenty useful tips to the groom, best man, and father of the bride on how to give a successful, polished speech at a wedding.

1. The main purpose of a wedding reception is to celebrate the happy event and to give guests, from both families, the opportunity to meet and get to know one another. You can create the desired atmosphere through the wedding speeches.

2. Speeches are primarily a way to congratulate the happy couple on their marriage and to give thanks to those people who have taken an active part in the proceedings. They are also an ideal opportunity to add humour and fun to what is otherwise a serious event.

3. Find a balance - Speeches should be sincere but also provide an element of entertainment for guests. Delivered correctly, they are an important element of a successful wedding and, for you giving the speech, serve as an opportunity to express your best wishes for the happy couple.

4. Despite having a solemn element, marriages are also meant to be happy occasions so don’t get bogged down in any lengthy, boring procedures after the official ceremony has passed. Short, amusing speeches from the best man, groom and brides father are more than sufficient for most audiences. If you wish to have more formality the bride, maid of honour etc can be added to the list of those speaking.

5. The running order of the speeches is not set in stone but here is one of the most popular timetables:

a. The master of ceremonies or best man calls on the father of the bride to propose a toast to the bride and groom. The bride’s father then welcomes the guests before saying a few words about his daughter.

b. The groom replies by thanking his parents and normally concludes with a toast to the bridesmaids and the presentation of small gifts to them of his appreciation.

c. The best man then replies on behalf of the bridesmaids and sets the tone for the remainder of the day with a short, humorous speech.

6. The ideal length for a total of all the speeches is around 20 minutes. For three speakers, therefore, the duration of each should be around seven minutes. Experience has shown that the guests will have an attention span of around seven minutes. One or two main points in a talk are ample material for each of the speakers.

7. It follows that if your speech is to be short you don’t need piles of notes. Trying to remember where you are up to with lots of sheets of paper will cause you unnecessary stress. Your level of stress will increase dramatically if you were to drop the sheets!

8. A single index card is more than sufficient for a wedding speech. Don’t attempt to write down your speech verbatim. Reading a speech is viewed as amateurish and handwriting easily becomes illegible when standing ‘in the spotlight’ at the front of an audience.

9. If absolutely necessary write the odd word or two to aid you. Notes are meant to jog your memory and ensure you don’t leave some important point out – nothing more. Use a large font with different coloured inks if possible to separate different sections of your talk.

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