You're not sure whether you're interested
When you're not sure that you want the person to call, you can always say you're about to change your number because you've received too many hang-ups; the number used to belong to an escort service; or you want a cuter number.

If you decide that you want to give out your number and then, upon reflection, decide that it was a mistake, you can get an answering machine or a call block machine so that you can screen your calls. If it turns out that the person is more persistent than you'd like, you can change your number.

Another alternative if you're not sure whether you want to give out your phone number is to get the person's number instead. Of course, doing so means you have to call the person. (See the section "Asking for a Number" earlier in this chapter to find out why.)

Don't ask for a phone number as a defensive measure, as in, "I don't want you to have my number, but if I ask for yours, you'll be less intense about getting mine." Then you're just being creepy.

No way, Jose
If there is no way that you'd ever want to see this person again, don't be tempted to give your number. Doing so may be easy for the short term, but it actually makes the situation more uncomfortable because you'll end up causing yourself and the other person heartache not very far down the line. Even though it's difficult, it's better not to mislead them or give false hope. If you're not interested, be (gently) upfront about it and say, "Listen, I'm going to be very busy," or "You're very nice, but I'm going through a tough time right now," or "I'm about to move," or "I'm joining the French foreign legion." The main point is don't give someone your number if you don't want the person to call you.

Don't you dare give a wrong number (and yes, deliberately mixing up any two numbers in the sequence counts as a wrong number) or your mom's - or your best friend's or an old boyfriend's - number. Come on, this is dating, not terrorism.

Home phone or not?
Many women are reluctant to give out home numbers for safety's sake and are much more willing to give out work numbers because they're not alone at work and they (generally) work during the day. Work phone numbers create their own problems, however:
1. At work other people are around, which feels safer, but it's also less private.
2. Many if not all businesses frown on personal calls during the workday. If you've been given or are giving out a work number, understand that the conversations have to be shorter than they would be if you were using a home number.

Of course, not all home phone numbers automatically eliminate these problems. Sharing your home phone number with roommates or family can limit the length of the calls. If the phone has extensions, you may find that you restrict the content as well because you never know who may be listening in.

Life-saving cells
When it comes to dating, cell phones are really lifesavers, allowing you to remain coy about home and work numbers. Giving out a home number is giving an awful lot of information to a stranger. Giving a work number may compromise you at work because when they call, the timing may be unfortunate due to lack of privacy, running afoul of company policy, or any one of a number of constraints. An operator or a voice mail may identify the name and/or address of your workplace, which may be more information than you want a stranger to have about you initially. Ta-da - cell phones to the rescue! Among other things, cell phones have caller ID and are mobile, thus not identifying any geographical location where you can be found. The disadvantage of a cell over a land line is you can't block a cell number, but you know who it is before you have to answer. Also, if someone is sneaky enough to use "restricted," you can just let it ring through to voice mail. In a worst-case stalker scenario, it's a lot easier to change your cell phone number than your home or office phone.

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