It doesn't have to be this way.

If you really like a woman, it's okay to call the next day. It's also okay to make a date. Just don't stay on the phone too long and keep the patter light.

Cool your jets a bit. You've been smart enough to get his phone number, so you can wait this one out a while. If he hasn't called in a week or so and you want to give him a ring, fine. Just keep the conversation light and short and
don't ask why he hasn't called.

Talking on the phone is a nice way to begin getting to know one another. It's personal without being overly intimate: You're at arm's - or, literally, at phone's - length from one another.

During the first conversations, keep things short and casual. Those let's-putthe- phone-on-the-pillow-and-listen-to-each-other-breathe-as-we-fall-asleep things come much, much later. So don't worry about the sweaty palms (as long as the phone doesn't slip), don't hang up, and don't try too hard.

Never make a date with a machine. Whether it's the first date or the fiftieth, unless it's an emergency, get in touch with the person mouth to ear so that you know the message has been received loud and clear.

Rules in a Nutshell
The following are the rules for getting, giving, and using phone numbers:
1. If you want a number, ask and be willing to offer your own.
2. If you don't want to see the person again, don't ask for a number and don't give a number.
3. If you're not sure, build a time frame into your response so that nobody is sitting around waiting for you to call.
4. Exchanging phone numbers is the fun, easy part, so relax a bit and don't get too involved before you've even had a first date. It's not worth the stomach acid.
5. Calling and hanging up is not okay; neither is driving by. All states now have anti-stalking laws, and they are enforced (see Chapter 27 for information on stalking). Playing games can get you into serious trouble, so don't be silly here. Plus, caller ID has made hang-ups traceable. You don't need police on your doorstep as part of your dating experience. In a nutshell, a phone is quicker than pony express, less traumatic than a telegram, more personal than e-mail, more fun than smoke signals, and the first major step toward moving from strangers to something much bigger and better.

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