Overcoming Loneliness Starts With Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Western society has developed in a way that the sense of community has disappeared and we have become strongly individualistic. Societal stress has increased and people are working long hours with increased career-pressures while living in a fast-paced world

Loneliness is a major problem in western society as a result of the difficulties many of us have in getting close to others and sustaining intimate relationships. Instead, our lifestyle offers endless activities in pursuit of pleasure – from clubbing to the movies – although they distract only momentarily from our sense of isolation. Alienation stems from a lack of connection with others, and it leaves you feeling separate even in company. You can suffer from inner loneliness whether your life is full and busy or seemingly empty.

By definition, loneliness is not a mood disorder. However, if you are lonely it’s not uncommon to experience other related mood disorders such stress, anxiety and depression. Sadly, conventional medicine tends to reduce these psychological problems to the mere biochemical level and many people suffering loneliness end up taking anti-depressant drugs. Unfortunately, in addition to unwanted side-effects, the drugs only hide their problems and treatment often fails to address the real underlying problem

People try to cope with their loneliness in different ways. Some of them are negative coping mechanisms such as: – Spending a lot of time alone by choice – Avoiding parties and places where people gather – Never inviting people into your home – Addictions that temporarily cover up the loneliness but create bigger monster worries for the future. – Sleeping more and staying home more. – Spending excessive time on the internet, chatting on forums, blogs and seeking friendships only through the internet. – Taking over the counter medicines that relax us while trying to cover up the feelings of isolation. – Refusing to get out and meet new people – Acting out our anger instead of defusing it with logic and reason or asking for help from a professional – spending excessive time at work where work becomes the focal point of your life and neglecting other areas of your life – Ignoring loneliness altogether, escaping or hiding your feelings

Loneliness can be caused by a number of different reasons. It is sometimes triggered by life-changing events. It could happen as a result of conditions such as grief and other types of personal loss in our lives. Or it could be a slow, gradual realization that you have been isolated, abused or alienated for some time by people who are supposed to love you and be there for you. Other common causes of loneliness are peer rejection, poor self-esteem, unemployment, loss of a loved one, separation, illness, just to name a few.

The first step to overcoming loneliness is to understand what it is caused by. Sometimes the underlying problem is not as obvious and some soul-searching is needed to understand the true causes. Many people look at their reasons for loneliness by giving "blame" to something – or someone. Blaming society, blaming their parents, blaming their poor relationship and so on. It is important to realize that blame is very disempowering and immediately takes away the responsibility for yourself, the power to take action and the power to change your situation.

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