An example might be as simple as the spouse arriving home late having not called to advise their partner, only to find utter abuse upon arrival home. Why we do this, put simply it is fear, as humans we naturally assume the worse and think they could have had an accident. The truth lay in if they died or were seriously hurt how would I handle the loss of companionship, financial support etc you finish the story. Yet if we were to open up and say I feared you may have been hurt, I was scared and did not know where you were, I do not want to lose you. Now do you agree that sounds better than a verbal tirade?

So in summary, stop and listen, allow the possibility you may be wrong, say how you feel truthfully, admit you are scared, and for goodness sake create an understanding for one another that allows the communication channels to remain open. If all else fails seek counsel in a professional that has the techniques to assist you, to bring back the attraction and love you shared when you first met.

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