Being asked if you are a controlling person is a confronting realization as most controlling people are unaware of their traits, what we aim to do in this short review is to help you identify controlling patterns and the effect it has on others.

One of the first behavioral patterns is the way you spend your time, the controlling individual is generally a very busy person and is always planning or organizing not just themselves though everybody in their circle of life. This is to the point of where they will constantly complain about not having enough me time, however they secretly like to be kept busy and always in demand. Call it a martyr if you wish, though the underlying truth is they crave acknowledgement and appreciation for their actions.

To the controlling person this may come as a surprise as they may have either lacked love or attention as a child, hence why it is playing out in their adult lives. This also affects the ones close to them, by having a regimented time controlling existence. Another pattern is the what about me, it is all about me, poor me. As they have become accustomed to being in demand and the seeker of attention, that they are the first to suffer from not being the centre of the moment.

Normally the controlling person will struggle with change, as it is their way or the highway. They fear change unless it is on their terms, if not it rocks their world. Funnily enough these will be the people that openly admit; oh I do not like change, yet will be the first to get a new hairstyle or will have to buy that item of clothing that stands out and attracts attention.

Theses dominant people typically are reluctant to move, and quite often will become a prisoner of their own life because moving house or town is the furthest thing from their mind, and anybody that does it is crazy. Naturally they will have an opinion of your transient ways, why because they are imparting their values upon you without consideration to what is important to you.

The controlling person is rarely wrong and struggles to admit defeat, remember how can you be in control if you are not right? So here is the first step to admitting you’re a controlling person, is allowing others to actually have a point of view, or a belief without actually challenging them. So simply by letting go of your righteousness do you start to open up, and to realize others are not be reliant upon you. Your not here to save the world and yes the world will go on even in your absence.

Have you ever noticed that the controlling parent has little time for the child and quite often the child is screaming out for attention to the point of misbehaving to the disgust or annoyance of the controlling person, why, again because it is not on their terms? One can argue the other extreme of the over zealous parents that push there children into a sport that the child is expected to excel at, whilst potentially fulfilling there own lack or acknowledgement as a child.

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