So you want to know what's really on a Man's mind, eh? Well it's probably close to what you're thinking, but not quite. It you think this whole article is about sex... well, you're partially right... but that means you're partially wrong too!

You see, there's two sides to a man. The burley man side, and the *cough* feminine side to man. It's the burley, manly-man side that want's to have the fantastic hard-core, fantasy filled sexual encounters. So by egging on his stupid macho-man antics, you are telling him that deep down, internally, you're already going down on him in Lara Croft style. And once you go down this path, the adrenaline and testosterone are so thick at this point, that finding his lighter side, may be a nearly impossible task. Now if this is what you want, then the solution is simple. Just route for your man in the Stupid-Man contests, and you'll be pleasuring him with every hole you have.

But I said there were two sides, right? Well stop and think about this... why have so many women converted to lesbianism? Sure, it could be a brain encoding thing. Dr's seem to support this idea. But what if there is another reason? A more reasonable approach. Well consider this... when's the last time your man rubbed your feet, or massaged your back, without the breast reach around? And when you take the tub soak, does he give you the relaxing time you need? Of course not! He wants to see you naked, and get a quick 30 seconds of your time (if you know what I mean). And in bed, how does he treat you? Is he forceful? or does he take the time for foreplay? How and where does he use his tongue? Does it feel good, or does it feel like you're being bathed with a slimy sandpaper stick? You see, only a woman could possibly know how to pleasure another woman, so I think that is why there is such a rise in lesbianism. Don't believe me, just ask a lesbian at the next rainbow parade what see thinks about man tongue syndrome.

So if lesbians don't like guy tongue in bed, why the high rate of conversion of gay guys? well, it's simple. These are the guys that can't convince a woman to sleep with him, so he hangs out with all the wussy guys that are in the same boat... pretty soon they are on each others boats, if you know what I mean.