Living in fear, self- or other-imposed, you shrink and suppress your brilliance, live beneath your capability, avoid taking risks, and live an unhappy life. Fear robs you of your greatness as your talent lies hidden beneath its cloak. The fear you feel seems real. It seems like it would be the worst thing in the world if you were to walk through the fear and act. But that is how the brave do it. Courageous people experience as much fear as anyone else. They have just learned to focus on the goal and their purpose for achieving it. They act in spite of the fear. It's the difference between letting fear be in charge or YOU being in charge.

Fear is sneaky. It can force you to behave in ways that produce certain positive results. For instance, if you fear being alone, then perhaps you build a strong community through networking and that has enabled you to be very successful in your field because you are well-liked and well-known. This is good, right?

Yes, it is good. However, being driven by fear has its limitations. You are driven to behave a certain way in order to avoid your fear rather than face it. Constantly trying to live up to some ideal, you stress over avoiding unpleasant outcomes. And no matter what you do or how many people you meet, you continue to feel alone, it's not enough, and your feelings of dissatisfaction continue. Perhaps that community of people is more social or collegial; they are acquaintances not deep friendships, and during a rough time, you wonder who you can lean on for support. It is impossible to experience true intimacy when you fear being alone because you are coming from a place of neediness and that shows up energetically. Oftentimes, fear of being alone shows up as a fear of intimacy and you avoid having people get to know you because if they knew the real you, my goodness, what would they think!? If you are not a very social being, fear of being alone can show up in other ways such as carrying debt or chronic borrowing. You might do this so that you build long term, albeit superficial, relationships with institutions or people who will never leave you.

Fear as a Message Fear is normal. It helps us to know that we are on the right path. When you experience fear, it signals that you are moving toward the edge of your comfort zone, meaning you are expanding your horizons and stretching yourself to become more of what you are capable of becoming. The fear feels real, as if we are experiencing the fight, flight, or freeze mechanism, our body’s natural reaction to danger. When we are in danger, the body responds with hormones making us stronger and more alert. This physiological response can occur to something real or something perceived in the mind, making it difficult to discern whether you are really in danger or if a belief or thought pattern is being threatened by what you are about to do. Either way, your body reacts as if danger is imminent, causing you to question your actions. It is in this moment where you can find your power. You can choose to act and push through the fear or you can succumb to the fear and hold yourself back.

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