"Here’s another paradox, my friend … The less attached (to any particular FORM) I become, the more passionately committed I am to honoring, supporting, and substantiating the ESSENCE of that which I truly value." Dr. David Kamnitzer, D.C.

The Buddha taught that the cause of suffering is our attachment to a particular structure or form. Put differently, our suffering is a function of our attachment to "fixed ideas" we have about the way something or someone (including ourselves!) has to be in order for us to feel good and be at peace.

Here are some statements that exemplify this world of fixed ideas:

If only I were 20 pounds lighter, then I would be happy If only I were younger, then I would be happy If she looked at me in that special way she used to, then I would be happy If I had a lot of money, then I would be happy If my son turns out to be a famous doctor, then I would be happy My J.O.B. is the source of my wealth. My wealth is the same as my checkbook balance. I’m not very bright.

All of these ideas are fixed and limit our experience of well-being. They also happen to be untrue.

The more we identify with the FORMS and CONDITIONS in our lives, the more LOST we become. We give our power away and start feeling at the effect of life, rather than knowing ourselves as conscious co-creators of our life experience.

Imagine your cousin John really, really, really, really wants a new Mercedes. He spends 20 minutes telling you all about it. Then you ask him the following question: "What is most important to you about having that new Mercedes?" John pauses for a moment, and then proceeds to tell you that the most important thing about having it is that it is such a beautiful and well-crafted vehicle, that he just feels so good when he drives it around. You press a little further ….

"John", you ask, "How does it make you feel." He goes on to say that he feels confident, relaxed, and open to the wonder of life when he drives it.

As we proceed, it is clear that at some level, what John really wants is not the deed to the Mercedes. What he really wants is reliable and consistent access to the feelings and qualities he was resonating with as he was driving the car. This is an astounding revelation!

Maybe John could test-drive the car a few times … feel those feelings deeply …. anchor them into his emotional and physical body … and save himself about $50,000!

Now my point is not that John shouldn’t buy the car. I’m just saying that if he believes that he needs the car to feel certain feelings, he has just given his power away to a car!

The truth is that given the capacity of human beings to imagine, combined with our sensitive emotional nature, we DON’T NEED to own, or even be driving that car, in order to connect with the space that the car TRIGGERED for John.

If John were conscious enough, he could use his experience with the car to expand his relationship with the feelings and qualities the car ride educed. He could begin to take more responsibility for his relationship with these feelings and qualities, and eventually he could get to the point where he didn’t need the car to trigger those feelings.

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