Breaking up, divorce or monstrous fights that never seem to end all point (along with many other issues,) toward the fact that relationships are very difficult! Let us review the classic scenario: Two people meet and are swept up in a series of emotional, subconscious and instinctual desires; they believe they can manage any difficulties they encounter because of the intense feeling they share. First the intense physical urges taper off into a more comfortable but sometimes not very exciting routine. Emotional issues, (wanting never to be apart for example,) become less intense and level out. Eventually the glorious spell of new love fades and endurance comes into play, this is when a relationship becomes a very tricky business.
Many people believe they have the hardships of partnering for life completely under control and see no need to put effort in, often those same people are shocked to find that their relationship is either over or in desperate need of some help. Achieving a happy and healthy relationship requires sacrifice and patience an idea that for some is anything but desirable.
Just as in business more effort often yields a better result; keeping this in mind it is critical that if both parties desire to remain together for many years, of a lifetime, that they continue to work on the problems and enjoy the benefits of choosing to be in a relationship.
In this article we will review some of the classic pitfalls, how they often occur and how to avoid them. Even if you believe that your relationship has no problems, taking the time to review and examine can often be a satisfying and insightful look into the quality of your commitment.
Perhaps the first and most important step when one begins the relationship is simply to ask: "Is this what I want?" Too many people feel that they must settle down as they get older or have been swept up in the romantic notions that everyone has a mate waiting for them just beyond the horizon. While it may be true that every person has a perfect partner out there waiting for them that doesn’t necessarily mean that their partner didn’t settle down half way around the world with some idiot simply because they felt that nothing better would come along! Tragic though it might be, often people fear being alone so much that they commit themselves to staying with a person that they know will never make them truly happy. It is true that if a relationship becomes more work and frustration then happiness it may not be the right one, but it’s unreasonable to expect that real effort will not be needed to make a relationship work; know yourself well enough to decide whether or not you are ready before you commit.
The desire to be intimate with a person does not cancel out either of your flaws; if you don’t want to put the effort in don’t express the intention of doing so. Wanting a carefree life for your self is nothing to be ashamed of; many people find that with busy careers and hobbies they simply do not have the time to build a strong relationship with another person. Passion can trick both men and women into thinking that they are ready to commit; while this may work for some many people quickly that a healthy sex life is a great thing for a couple to share, it is a poor fundamental base for a relationship.
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