5. GIVING & SPENDING: Many holidays are times of giving. This means there is the danger of over-giving. Over-giving includes spending too much money on gifts, too much energy cooking and too much time with people you'd rather not be with. Giving without regard to your own boundaries inevitably leads to resentment and exhaustion. An "Over-Giving Prevention Plan" can help: a commitment to giving out of love rather than giving out of guilt. Find your limits based on the life energy you have rather than “shoulds” or expectations. Pay attention not only to total amounts of time and money but also to the amount of time or money you can lovingly devote to a particular task, activity or person without becoming resentful. What can you give and spend, and with whom, without resentment? How much money can you spend on gifts (or how much time can you spend making gifts) and sending holiday cards, and for whom, without becoming resentful? Allow yourself to get honest with yourself and live in alignment with your boundaries and your integrity.

6. PERSONAL RE-CENTERING ACTIVITIES: Many holidays are preceded by preparation, which means the danger of neglecting the self-care activites that keep you centered and energized. Being true to your personal boundaries can help you maintain your self-care routines. This will help make any holiday more joyous. Make specific self-care commitments to yourself ahead of time. It's okay to take “time-outs” from the family or the hustle and bustle. Going on regular walks (alone or with others you feel particularly nourished to be with), checking in with growth-oriented friends, going to support group meetings, journal writing and meditation, and eating and sleeping well are all part of a wonderful self-care plan. Which self-care/re-centering activities will work for you?

7. PLANNING FOR GLITCHES: Most of us can reasonably predict where the hurts or fights will arise surrounding any given holiday, the varieties of distress that happen each year, and with which people these will occur. Make a list ahead of time of the types of incidents you anticipate could occur and the specific new actions you are willing to take this year to take better care of yourself when or if these circumstances arise.

I know from personal experience that these strategies really do work to support joy and love during any holiday. I wish you a nourishing holiday experience!

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