I sometimes wonder when to give a thank you gift to someone who has done a favor for me or helped me in some way. When is a gift proper as opposed to just a simple thank you note, a payment of money, or just saying a sincere "thank you"? I asked an online group what occasions required a gift and then what type of gift would be appropriate.

In their collective wisdom they said that a gift should be given when someone does something special for you or your family. Some of the reasons for when to give a thank you gift were: If someone has helped you get a mortgage or land a great job, after someone helps you out by feeding your cats while you're away for the week-end and after spending one or more nights in someone's home.

They felt that a thank you gift should be given when ever someone has gone out of their way to assist you. Examples of this include making a change in their schedule or spending a great deal of time helping you, for instance: a neighbor clears your driveway with his snow blower or chops some firewood for you when your husband is laid up.

When asked what appropriate gifts might be they ranged from the elaborate to the homemade. The thoughtful neighbor with the snow blower received a gift of homemade, warm-from-the-oven cookies, while the chopped firewood earns an entire loaf of homemade pumpkin-raisin bread.

A fruit basket would be an appropriate gift to give someone who gives you a business lead. While a friend who helps you land a new job might receive a basket of flowers or fruit with a thank you note attached. And a thank you gift idea for a favorite teacher might be a nice little book full of poems and sayings especially for a teacher.

Suggestions for thank you gifts ranged from edibles like cookies, candy, food gift baskets, to gourmet coffees and exotic teas. One might also give a gift certificate to a local restaurant, gift cards to a favorite boutique or a movie theater.

Remember any time someone does a favor for you is a time when it's proper to give a thank you gift. Also, it’s not the cost of the gift that matters, but the thought that counts. So the next time you are touched by someone’s thoughtfulness, consider giving a small token of your appreciation.