Memories are shared when people get together after not having seen one another for a long time. This article is an inner reflection that shares what it is like when friends and families gather for special occasions.

It was a joyous occasion that brought us together for a good reason. My parents 50th wedding anniversary was celebrated with family members and friends we had not seen in years. Since the celebration was to honor my parents, there were people present whom I did not know. They had been friends with my parents in a life that we had not shared. There were also people there whom I had known a long time ago—almost like another lifetime ago.

I wasn’t surprised that we had all aged quite a bit, but when you haven’t seen someone in a long time, they seem to get stuck in a time warp. In my mind, I expected them to be and look exactly like they did when I last saw them so many years ago. There were people from a church that I had attended as a child, and I had not seen them in almost thirty years. The adults were older versions of their former selves, but the people my age that I had not seen since I was a teenager were a little difficult to recognize. I walked right by one woman who had been a very good friend of mine as a teenager. She was a grown woman! We had become adults, raised our kids, and had grandkids since we last had contact with one another.

The religious beliefs I held way back then were no longer part of my life; therefore, I knew I had changed inside. I knew those changes might leave us with little in common. I felt like an outcast once I realized that most of them were still following the same path. What I didn’t realize was how much my physical appearance had I changed. Over and over I heard, "I didn’t recognize you! I was looking for you a girl blonde hair." I haven’t been a blonde since 1990!

Most were shocked that I no longer own a piano or keyboard. I had been their church pianist when they knew me in a former life. I had practiced hours each day and music had been a vital part of my identity. "What do you mean you don’t play the piano anymore? You were so good. I can’t believe you gave up your God-given talent." They didn’t seem to share the joy I had found in my new career as a writer and business owner. It meant nothing to them. They couldn’t relate to me or accept me for being anything but what they expected.

There are other times when families and old friends come together. There are those infamous family reunions where you actually meet for the first time people you are kin to. It feels awkward to be introduced to someone who shares your bloodline and it’s kind of embarrassing to learn that they live less than an hour away and you have never shared a meal.

Funerals are one of the time when people come together to share, but the grief which clouds such an occasion leaves the event to be considered anything but a good time even though you may be glad to see people you haven’t seen in years.

My purpose for writing all this is two-fold: Let’s not wait until someone dies to get together with people we love. Let’s accept one another for who we are now and share in the joy of today rather than being stuck in the memories of yesterday.