It might not find you a house, but might help you deal with the stress of house hunting. For buyers, sellers and realtors alike!

You'll need:

- a bottle or two of your preferred liquor - cup for each person - real estate publication

- Any of the following = 1 sip each

adorable, airy, alluring, ample, attractive, beautiful, becoming, best, bewitching, big, blissful, bright, capacious, captivating, charming, cheerful, consummate, cozy, dazzling, delightful, desirable, distinctive, enchanting, endearing, engaging, enticing, enveloped (by trees, excellent, exquisite, extraordinary, fabulous, fantastic, fetching, fine, first-rate, foremost, gardens, glorious, gracious, grand, great, handsome, haven, ideal, immaculate, impeccable, impeccable, inspiring, irresistible, lovely, magnificent, nature), original, out-of-the-ordinary, out-of-the-way, palatial, peaceful, peerless, perfect, picturesque, placid, pleasant, preeminent, prime, private, quaint, quiet, rare, retreat, roomy, serene, serene, solitary, spacious, splendid, sublime, superb, superior, surprising, sweet, timeless, tranquil, ultimate, unique, unperturbed, utopia, vintage, whimsical, winning, wonderful, world-class

- any of the above attached to "price" = 2 additional sips

- 3 or more consecutive adjectives (an exquisitely charming haven) = gulp

- Needs TLC = 2 sips

- handyman's special = 1 sip

- fixer-upper = 1 sip

- needs a little work = 2 sips

- "perfect for first-time home buyers" = 2 sips

- starter home = 1 sip

- must see = 1 sip

- must see to believe = 3 sips

- hurry = 1 sip

- hurry, this won't last = 3 sips

- don't miss this = 1 sip

- priced to sell = 2 sips

- motivated seller = 1 sip

- won't last = 3 sips

- sale of the second/minute/day/week/month/year/decade/century/all time = 4 sips

- "potential" = 3 sips

- Any of the following = 4 sips each (since you can afford it)

affluent, chic, commanding, elite, exclusive, executive, lavish, luxury, opulent, refined, select, sophisticated, successful, sumptuous, up-scale, upper class, prestigious

- The word "only" = 4 sips

- The word "family" = 3 sips

THE HOUSE:

You'll need:

- several bottles of your preferred liquor - large cup for each person - designated driver

- If "charming, comfortable, cozy, homey, intimate, snug" or any of their synonyms or derivatives mean that you would have a hard time housing a toy poodle in the building = 1 gulp

- If "luxury" means that the property is assessed the highest tax in the county = 2 gulps

- If "needs TLC, handyman's special, fixer-upper, needs a little work" means that the walls are in danger of imminent buckling, the roof is ready to slide off into the neighbors' yard, the toilets flush into the basement, or the foundation is slowly sidling away from the building = 3 gulps

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