If you look at the divorce rate out there, your chances don't seem to good. Just look at the statistics for marriages in America:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41% The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60% The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

But what factors could possibly contribute to these kind of rates. There are so many variables that it's really difficult to determine what contributes to so many occurences of divorce. However, the purpose of this article is to help introduce one possible factor that may contribute to this. And that is the concept of relationships by default.

Ross Jeffries talks about relationships by default in his Speed Seduction courses, and basically, what it boils down to is that people are often starved for choice in their relationships and social life. Meaning that they get attached to the first people that show interest in them rather than choosing someone who really complements their personality and could really work out in the long-term. It's like, if someone starving, they're going to basically take whatever food they can get, even if they don't particularly like it.

These people then get into these relationships by default, where they don't really like each other but they stay together because it's better than nothing. The solution, of course, would be to learn to go out and meet a lot of people and increase their chances of finding someone they get along with. The thing is that a lot of people are just too nervous to go out and meet new people all the time, so they give up the choice and possibilities they could have in their dating life.

That's why programs like Speed Seduction focus on giving you the skills to go out and meet and attract women. If you know you could go out and meet 10 other women in no time, then that gives you the power to walk away. You're not so needy, clingy, and you won't end up a doormat. And in the end, when you date someone it will be because you really want to, not just because you settled for someone.

All those meeting and dating women programs have one thing in common. The emphasis on going out and getting over your fear of talking and meeting new people, because of the fact that this will bring choice in your life. But how do you do this? Just go out, a few nights a week, and try starting conversations with 10 people a night. Just really short conversations, like a few minutes each, until you don't get nervous approaching strangers and sparking up conversations. You'll become a more social person with the kind of choice and variety you want in your life.

The problem is, though, as simple as those instructions are, it is really difficult for some people to do this. Even guys who risk their lives on the jobs often get scared to do something like talk to a girl they don't know yet. You have to push forward and do it anyway. It's as simple as that. You can't drink it away, that's like putting a bandaid over a gaping wound. Just recognize that all of us have that little fear (sometimes a big fear) about going up to people we don't know, which is why nightclubs sell so much money (people want to drink away their inhibitions). Drinking to gain that kind of unreserved feeling is what Eckhart Tolle termed as "existing below thought". It's not good long-term for your health, mentally or physically.

If you need any help on overcoming that fear of approaching, Ross Jeffries offers a lot of tools in his Speed Seduction courses for increasing your confidence and gaining a sense of clarity. Or you could always just google "positive affirmations" on Google and get a lot of the information you need. "The Secret" was about the power that positive affirmations can have on your life, and your relationships, and indeed they are a powerful tool for help improving yourself. So use them, and get out there and meet people and enjoy the life that you want.