3) Attempting to live up to the expectations of others. Accepting others’ expectations or standards for your success never works out well. It leaves you feeling like no matter what you do it will never be good enough. You feel frustrated, lost, and afraid of being left alone, not being liked, or losing the relationship (being abandoned). People have their own ideas, fantasies, and expectations about how you should behave – about how everyone should act and how everything should function. They suffer from the same disease of the mind: thoughts run amok. Give up your need to please others, start focusing on what you want for yourself, and learn to look for approval and acceptance from the most important person in your life: YOU!

4) You are never satisfied with what you have but keep wishing for something else. When you are never satisfied, you undervalue your accomplishments, have difficulty accepting compliments, and are unable to see value in what you have. Learn to appreciate the NOW, be engaged in the present moment, and experience what is right in front of you. When you are so busy you have no time to breathe, you cannot focus or enjoy the present moment and often react in unpleasant ways when under stress. When you learn to focus your attention, you lessen your anxiety and increase your level of happiness. You cannot experience happiness and joy in the past or the future. Anxiety takes you out of the NOW and will have you focus on "what ifs," creating fantasies about an idealized future. Embrace the moment. Be fully present and engaged in whatever you are doing and enjoy whomever you are with in the moment.

Learning to challenge your expectations and to question your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs takes openness and willingness. Pay attention to your thoughts and how you normally or automatically react when an idea is threatened. When you are able to hear your thoughts and assess them, you are able to make better choices, which in turn gives you control over your mind, emotions, and actions. You cannot wish yourself happy. And you’ll never be happy if you are immersed in self-defeating thoughts and guided by unrealistic and unreasonable fantasies. Learn to take control of what goes on between your ears so you can experience the peace and happiness you long for.

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