As a working mom, I struggle daily with how my absence plays out in my kids' development, the baby in particular. I have two boys – a four year old and a baby who is one and a half. I've concluded that I have a much bigger problem with being away then the baby does. While I sit around in front of the computer yearning for him, he is with his dad or the nanny having a great time at the park, the children’s museum, or playing in the backyard. His whole world unfolds in front of him and he has learned to explore it all with a larger sense of independence than he might otherwise if I was always around.

On one hand I feel guilty and wish I was with him, but on the other hand I feel like I am a better Mom to my children when I am working and doing what I love. I also feel like I am setting a good example for my boys by working – I hope this will aid in instilling a strong work ethic in them. I try to remember this when I’m feeling sad and missing them, but some days are easier than others.

I started a company two years ago and I am very passionate about my work. I work hard and put in long hours, but this is what I love to do. This is the second company I’ve worked hard to build, but during the first endeavor I was a single woman with no children, which made it a heck of a lot easier. I could focus one hundred percent of myself on my career and not feel guilty about it. As all working moms out there know, this is not possible once kids come into the picture. It amazes me how much my life has changed since I’ve had children. I love them and being a mom more than anything in the world, and I hope that some day all this work will pay off and I will have more time to spend with my family.

I’m lucky in that my husband is able to stay home with the children and take care of them full-time. He’s an actor so his schedule allows him to be home during the day and take long stretches of time off when he needs it. It isn’t the most traditional lifestyle we lead, but it works for both of us. He loves being the primary caregiver and the boys love being with him. He is an amazing father and watching him care for our boys has made me fall even more in love with him. I am also lucky that is he extremely supportive of my work and never makes me feel bad for not being at home. He knows how important my work is to me and he respects that.

The baby’s first word was 'Dada', and he calls for Dada now when he wakes up and wants to be taken out of the crib. Yes, that hurts. But I'm the only one with the problem. It's not like HE'S bitter about it. That is all he knows. It is not wholly natural for someone besides the mom to be the primary caretaker, but babies adapt and everything seems just fine. He is better for longer stretches on his own than my first son ever was. That may be partially their natural personalities, but I think it is also the differing circumstances in which they experienced infancy. When my first son was a baby, I was home with him. I was working, but I had a home office and I was working for someone else so the hours were not so long. I wonder how this will this play out in the long run with my youngest son. Will the closeness of our relationship suffer because I am not around 24/7, or will it be enhanced as he will be slightly less dependant on me and we can hold a more natural discourse?

I'm probably analyzing the whole thing too much. It's just that I am missing him right now. And I know I am not the only mom out there that feels this way. I just wish it was easier to balance my family and work life on days like this.