I remember the first time I met Dean; he had just given a powerful sermon that had hit me between the eyes as if he was talking directly to me. I had just returned to church after a period of indecision having gone through an unfortunate divorce 12 years earlier and raising the children alone from the ages of 10 and 12. I had never lost my faith in God, but I had lost my connection to the faith community. I was raised by a Lutheran father who told us as kids that religion was a private issue (either because he did not know how to defend it or it was a justification for spending every Sunday morning playing golf) Either way, I never felt a sense of responsibility to attend church. That does not mean I didn't pray and have my conversations with God - That never changed. But when it came to having a connection with the community that was something I never felt a sense of comfort.

Dean was not one of those television evangelist types at all. He was just always very prepared with a smooth delivery that gave you a sense that this was a man truly in tune with our Maker. He was a master of the stage as he challenged each of us to think about our faith and to be more diligent in our relationship with Christ. He reeked of confidence in a way that did not offend you but made you respect him for where he was in his walk with the Lord. For the first time in my life, I not only felt an obligation to attend every Sunday but I looked forward to it. But then something changed.

Aside from my father's view of attending church, when I did venture out and attend various services with friends and their families from time to time, it seemed that there was always that person or two that seemed to make it their mission to smother you with religion. I always felt a sense of guilt as these people, rather than trying to get to know you, would immediately either try to convert you or in some way make you feel bad about your self as if the only reason you were coming to church that Sunday was because you were in need of forgiveness.

Dean did not do that. In fact, there was warmth to the congregation and confidence that was above smothering as opposed to creating a comfortable environment that naturally made you feel welcome and not necessarily new - Almost as if returning home after a long trip.

But over time, there was a certain message that was being directed to the congregation that did not make sense. There was this challenge at the end of each sermon to get right with God and clean up your house. Each week it got more and more intense to the point to where the whole congregation was feeling guilt. I remember a well used statement from my father growing up as a child: "He who speaks loudest most likely carries the most guilt." Dad knew that when he broke up a disagreement between my brother and my self that it was the one that started defending himself the loudest that usually was at fault. That has always stuck with me and so with this challenge from Dean which got more and more pronounced and intense, it raised the question, "who is Dean actually talking to?"

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