Prepare well in advance, and be sure that the speech is memorized and can be recited passionately.

You’re standing in front of the crowd, and it’s your day to shine; you look up, and all the sets of eyes are on you, waiting, expecting you to spew words of wisdom. It’s too much…you freeze, and your mind goes blank, and all the carefully crafted phrases you planned to say flew out of your head. Uh oh.

That is a situation most of us have been in—and most certainly a situation we want to avoid. Giving a speech can be daunting, so when it comes to wedding speeches, the keyword is preparation, preparation, preparation. On the day of the wedding, the speech must be prepared enough that you are able to appear off the cuff and spontaneous—only then will the audience believe that it is as heartfelt and sincere as you meant it to be.

For the actual writing of the speech, try to find as much information about the bride and groom and their families as possible—after all, this speech is for them. Be certain that whatever information you gather is absolutely correct, and check with several sources. Try to find a funny story or two to sandwich into your speech in order to keep the audience interested. However, be very careful—what you think is funny, the bride and groom may not find tasteful. Thus, make sure jokes and stories are tasteful and will not embarrass or upset anyone. A safer way to crack jokes is to target yourself: make yourself the butt of your jokes, and nobody else will feel insulted. Keep in mind that the audience is there to enjoy the wedding and have fun, just as you are, so they will most likely laugh at your amusingly corny lines anyway. But don’t be too much of a comedian—the audience is here for a wedding, not a comedy show.

Keep your speech interesting and full of content; cut out any unnecessary words or descriptions—long flowery phrases sound much better when written than when spoken. Do not try to reach a certain time limit; it’s content that matters, not length. If you find yourself adding extra phrases here and there and switching around words to make the speech sound sophisticated, stop. Speeches are better left in plain, simple, and direct wording so as not to confuse the audience or bore them. The ideal length of a wedding speech is less than five minutes.

Finally comes the memorization portion. You should memorize the introduction and conclusion of your speech by heart, in the case that you forget parts of the middle. Rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse! Practice in front of the mirror, and match gestures to your words to make the speech more engaging. Bring along notecards to look at only if you blank out and desperately need to. Be sure to start your preparation at least two or three weeks early!