At times there are just too many problems in a marriage for a couple to continue to living together in the usual "married" fashion. If you and your spouse have reached this point, but you're not ready to give and divorce, a separation can provide you with the chance to rebuild your relationship and your trust in each other.

TAKE YOUR TIME Your first instinct after a separation may be to try to get back together and back to normal as quickly as possible. But don't rush--taking things slowly and carefully is the best thing you can do toward rebuilding your marriage. Give yourself and your spouse time to really come to grips with the underlying issues you have with each other and to figure out lasting solutions to these problems. If you're in too much a hurry to just get back together and decide to just bury some of these issues, you risk setting yourselves up for more trouble down the road.

KEEP IT CASUAL

When you and your spouse spend time together during a separation, don't spend all of your hashing out arguments and addressing weaknesses in your marriage. Think back to when the two of you first met and fell in love, and recreate those feelings by doing the fun things you used to enjoy together. You'll start to see each other in that exciting light you once did instead of as a spouse you've been arguing with and doing all that mundane stuff like chores and errands with for years. This will be enormously helpful in injecting a fresh, healthy new life into your marriage.

AVOID FINGER-POINTING AND HOSTILITY

Blame and hostility are the two most powerful enemies against a marriage. Even if you both want to get back together, if the two of you can't refrain from finger-pointing and bringing up past offenses, your marriage is doomed. You may know for certain your spouse was in the wrong and deserves the blame--don't do it. Instead, focus on your future together by resolving issues and forgiving each other for the pain you've caused one another. Commitment and positive thinking are the best ways to get your relationship back on track and maybe even stronger than ever.

If you and your spouse are separated, don't lose hope. Sometimes it just takes being away from someone for a little while to realize how much we want to with them.