The real problem with bad relationships is not that we have them because, unfortunately, most people do. The real problem of bad relationships is the amount of time we remain in the relationship when we knew long ago that we should have left and the continuing amount of time we allow ourselves to be emotionally in prison for something that was not worthwhile to begin with. This is not isolated to just women or just men. If it is isolated to any specific group, it is human beings. We all deal with the same things, although at the time we feel like we are the only person in the world to feel the type of pain and emptiness that we feel. There are endless number of tips and techniques that people offer in dealing getting over relationships and I am sure there is a time and a place for them all. There is no one thing that will make it any easier, so I would say understanding that is the first step. Although there is not one quick and easy fix, there are things that I think work better than others.

First, would be to give it time. Give it time to get out of your system. Give it time for you to take that step back from the relationship and see it for what it truly was rather than what you become consumed with at the end. The one thing about time is that we have absolutely no control over. We can not speed it up or slow it down. Therefore, it must be adhered to no matter what you say. And that is a good thing. As the days in weeks go by the relationship, or ridiculous situation you were previously in that you called a relationship, comes more into focus. You knew there were many things that were not right and now you are slowly getting into the proper frame of mind that you see it and call it for what it is. So use the time that it takes to deal with it. Only you can determine how long that is. I am not saying try to forget about it because that does not and should not happen. Dealing with it means getting yourself back into the proper mindset that you are honest about the problems that existed.

Secondly, realize that out of that bad and negative relationship are a lot of positives. No I am not crazy, at least not by medical definition. There are positives in all relationships. The main positive is what you learn about yourself. You learn your likes and dislikes and this is defined more and more with each relationship. You learn your boundaries and what you are willing to accept and not accept. The funny thing about boundaries is bad relationships always have a way of testing just how far you are willing to go. It is a shame that it happens or that person can put you in a position to do that, but if you have read this far into this message, you know exactly what I mean. Now that you are out of that situation, think back and redefine your boundaries. They may need to be narrowed a bit. Nothing worst than that feeling of being on the edge. Although unsolicited, that other person helped you get to where you know what you can stand. At least they were good for something!

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