Another positive is you know what you are willing to compromise on and what you are not. The funny thing to hear in the world is a single person go down their list of things that the “must” have in their partner. An absolute joke! If they have been in a bad relationship, they would know that all of those surface level qualities that they define are “must have” are meaningless in a relationship without compromise and a whole lot of other things that did not make the list. Relationships teach you things that no one can tell you. Being in a relationship, you learn clearly what you can compromise on. It could be as simple as what movie to go see to something more important that tests your moral values and convictions. This may be worth the exercise of writing down, those things that you are truly not willing to compromise on in the future. This is not be given to anyone or handed out at singles bars, but you just taking time and focusing in on those things that must be different for you in the next relationship. It is worth the effort.

I would also recommend finding your support base. Before you got involved in the situation that has you where you are today, there were people in your life, friends, family, ex’s, that appreciated and enjoyed you just for being you. There know and understand you and what makes you tick and are the ones who will support you in your time of need. They were probably the ones during the relationship that were giving you the subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, advice to get out of the relationship. These people have your best interest at heart. Surround yourself with these people to help get your spirits up and understand again your true worth. This is an easy technique that does a world of good.

The other thing that I would say about time is, give yourself time to be alone. Most people rush out into another relationship way too quick without giving themselves time to analyze the past relationships and get at peace with themselves. This is a must. Using a cliché, “If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always get.” This holds true for relationships as well. Until you make the conscious, concerted effort to change the people you are involved with, you will continue to get the same results that you have had in the past. Once again, if you are this far in this message, you definitely do not want to repeat everything that has been done in the past. Take time for yourself. Single is not bad. It is a temporary position, if you want it to be, that you can make sure your life is order so that when the person that is right for you does come along, you are ready for all it entails.

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