We know that 75% of all men ejaculate within two minutes or less of entering their partner. Premature ejaculation is so widespread, in fact, that it has been accepted as normal by long-suffering women and their partners. But ejaculating within two minutes of penetration is not normal, and premature ejaculation can be avoided.

Assuming that you don't want to go to a professional therapist, what can you do for yourself if you're a man who experiences premature ejaculation during sex? The answer is to use one of the powerful and effective self-help programs available on the internet to deal with the problem, so you get greater self control and you're able to last longer during sex. First, though, it's helpful to understand that "control" is the wrong way to look at ending premature ejaculation, because the word control implies that you have to struggle against premature ejaculation. The natural way to make love, in fact, is to choose when to ejaculate, so that self-control is not an issue. It should be your choice when you ejaculate, your choice how long sex lasts.

This may seem impossible to you right now if you worry about premature ejaculation every time you make love. You may question how it could ever be an option for a man to be able to decide when he ejaculates. But think of urinating - you make a choice about when you do that. And that is how it should naturally be with your ejaculation - and indeed, you can easily learn to control when to let go and ejaculate during sex. The thing is that men who ejaculate too soon are over-sensitive to sexual stimuli, over-sensitive to sexual arousal - they get to the point of no return too soon, and often without even realizing they are getting there. Then, before they know it, their ejaculation happens too soon once again, reinforcing the cycle of self-doubt and anxiety.

If you can stay below the point of ejaculatory inevitability, in other words if you keep your level of sexual arousal below the critical level, you won't ejaculate until you wish to do so - and you can make that choice by thrusting harder and faster and enjoying a powerful orgasm when you're ready to to so. That might be when your partner has enjoyed her orgasm, or when you're both happy with the time you've spent making love. But the key thing is that you choose when to ejaculate. You don't experience a rapid ejaculation, coming before you and your partner want it to happen.

I should say at this point that remedies for premature ejaculation based on contracting your PC muscles to stop yourself ejaculating (that is to say, the muscles around the base of your penis) simply don't work. You can't contract those muscles strongly enough to stop yourself ejaculating - and the attempt spoils all the pleasure of lovemaking, which is all about enjoying sex in an easy way, and choosing when to ejaculate, not struggling pointlessly against the power of your own bodybody, as it tries to make you ejaculate too soon!

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