How To Prevent Premature Ejaculation

Social IssuesSexuality

  • Author Rod Phillips
  • Published August 29, 2008
  • Word count 1,267

We know that 75% of all men ejaculate within two minutes or less of entering their partner. Premature ejaculation is so widespread, in fact, that it has been accepted as normal by long-suffering women and their partners. But ejaculating within two minutes of penetration is not normal, and premature ejaculation can be avoided.

Assuming that you don't want to go to a professional therapist, what can you do for yourself if you're a man who experiences premature ejaculation during sex? The answer is to use one of the powerful and effective self-help programs available on the internet to deal with the problem, so you get greater self control and you're able to last longer during sex. First, though, it's helpful to understand that "control" is the wrong way to look at ending premature ejaculation, because the word control implies that you have to struggle against premature ejaculation. The natural way to make love, in fact, is to choose when to ejaculate, so that self-control is not an issue. It should be your choice when you ejaculate, your choice how long sex lasts.

This may seem impossible to you right now if you worry about premature ejaculation every time you make love. You may question how it could ever be an option for a man to be able to decide when he ejaculates. But think of urinating - you make a choice about when you do that. And that is how it should naturally be with your ejaculation - and indeed, you can easily learn to control when to let go and ejaculate during sex.

The thing is that men who ejaculate too soon are over-sensitive to sexual stimuli, over-sensitive to sexual arousal - they get to the point of no return too soon, and often without even realizing they are getting there. Then, before they know it, their ejaculation happens too soon once again, reinforcing the cycle of self-doubt and anxiety.

If you can stay below the point of ejaculatory inevitability, in other words if you keep your level of sexual arousal below the critical level, you won't ejaculate until you wish to do so - and you can make that choice by thrusting harder and faster and enjoying a powerful orgasm when you're ready to to so. That might be when your partner has enjoyed her orgasm, or when you're both happy with the time you've spent making love. But the key thing is that you choose when to ejaculate. You don't experience a rapid ejaculation, coming before you and your partner want it to happen.

I should say at this point that remedies for premature ejaculation based on contracting your PC muscles to stop yourself ejaculating (that is to say, the muscles around the base of your penis) simply don't work. You can't contract those muscles strongly enough to stop yourself ejaculating - and the attempt spoils all the pleasure of lovemaking, which is all about enjoying sex in an easy way, and choosing when to ejaculate, not struggling pointlessly against the power of your own bodybody, as it tries to make you ejaculate too soon!

So the basis of any technique to overcome rapid ejaculation has to be learning to identify the moment just before you ejaculate, and then letting your sexual arousal fall until you are no longer likely to ejaculate. You can do this by stopping your thrusts and remaining still inside your partner until your level of arousal has dropped. You can even withdraw altogether. But timing this is crucial. When you sense you're back in charge, so to speak, and the feeling of an impending premature ejaculation has passed, you can carry on enjoying intercourse.

Stopping premature ejaculation like this needs some self-discipline, because the temptation to simply continue thrusting and enjoy your ejaculation is strong! So you need to start by changing your approach to sex so that you have a strong wish to last longer during sex and a firm belief that you can stop your rapid ejaculation!

Of course, you can learn how near you are to the point of no return, just before ejaculation, during masturbation. Often men self-pleasure quickly and ejaculate as soon as possible: instead, you can develop more self-control over how soon you reach orgasm and ejaculate. When you begin to sense your orgasm and ejaculation is getting near, you stop stimulating yourself and wait until you feel that the moment of incipient ejaculation has passed. Then you can start to masturbate again.

It won't be long before you become much more sensitive to how near you are to ejaculation. The signals that precede your ejaculation, rapid ejaculation or otherwise, might include tension in your legs and groin, a full feeling in your testes (balls) and a tingling sensation in your penis. But whatever the clues are for you that you're about to enjoy your sexual climax, focus on them and become aware of how near to ejaculation you are.

Practice approaching ejaculation and then stop what you are doing. Soon, you'll feel more confident that your sexual arousal has dropped and you'll be able to keep yourself on the edge of ejaculation for increasing periods of time. This will also make your ejaculation much more powerful when it does occur.

You might also like to train your your so-called love muscles, or PC muscles, as part of your program to overcome rapid ejaculation. When they are fit, they contract more powerfully during your ejaculation: this adds to the pleasure of your orgasm. That muscle fitness also gives you greater control over when you ejaculate - not by clamping them down and stopping your ejaculation, but simply by giving you a sense of greater power and choice about when you ejaculate. Your PC muscles can be strengthened with "Kegel exercises for men" (research this on the internet for more details); you can identify them fairly easily by contracting them when your penis is erect. If you tone up your PC muscles you will ejaculate harder and have more pleasurable orgasms.

As you may have realized, the final stages of your program to overcome premature ejaculation require you to try this new found self-control as you enjoy sexual intercourse. If you feel you are about to ejaculate, pause until your level of sexual arousal has dropped, then carry on making love when you feel more in control.

The most important thing is that you are aware when you are about to ejaculate and you then do something to stop it happening! You can stop ejaculation by paying attention to how sexually aroused you're feeling, not to how excited you are, or what your partner is doing, or how great it is to be having sex: you simply focus on what you are feeling, on the signs of your approaching ejaculation (as we mentioned above) - and if you are going to ejaculate, you stop thrusting until your sexual arousal has dropped again and you are back in control.

You can repeat this technique as often as you wish until you have gained more control over your ejaculation. There are of course, other processes you can do to prevent premature ejaculation, such as making love in those sex positions where you receive less stimulation to your penis, so that you naturally last longer - side by side sex is very good in that way.

The outline given above is just a summary of the full self-help treatment program for premature ejaculation, which is explained in great detail on the website, where you can also find details ofother techniques to help yourself overcome premature ejaculation, like self-hypnosis.

These two informative websites offer more information on Ending Premature Ejaculation and controlling Beating Delayed Ejaculation

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Article comments

Hifition
Hifition · 15 years ago
Yea it is battle against our psychological problems. Extagen helped me to solve this problem. I had to have two courses of this drug. Highly advise.

pereliever
pereliever · 15 years ago
Nice, whether to prevent or to stop premature ejaculation, we actually must rely on our mental and bodily self control. battle against premature ejaculation is battle against our psychological problems.

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