How to stop a divorce by doing the opposite of what you think

The most natural thing to do when you realize that your spouse has grown tired of your marriage or relationship is to make them promises, pay them more attention and even plead with them not to leave you. This might seem to be the right thing to do to stop your divorce but in reality it will very rarely succeed. If you want to give yourself the best chance of getting your spouse back then you must do the exact opposite to what comes natural.

Don't make false promises or plead with your spouse

Making promises and pleading with your partner makes you look weak and pathetic and frankly not very attractive. If you do this then you are more likely to make things worse than better. Many years ago I was in a relationship that demonstrates the futility of chasing your dissatisfied spouse and how effective the exact opposite strategy can be.

We had been together for 3 happy years when my girlfriend decided to take a full time course in a town 6 hours away. I was supportive and put her best interests above mine and we both agreed that we would stay together and settle down when the course was over. We saw each other infrequently during the 2 years of the course and even though my enthusiasm never faltered I could sense that she was drifting away from me.

I tried to get to see her more often and did everything I could to make her happy but when she finally returned I could see that the relationship was not going to be the same as it was before. I suspected that she had been unfaithful to me while we were apart but I was prepared to overlook it. I just wanted to get my girlfriend back. I worked hard at winning her back for almost a year but I could see that she wasn't interested and that I was just making things worse.

I told her that it was all over and the unexpected happened

I tried for weeks to win her back but nothing seemed to be working at all. I finally decided that enough was enough and told her that it was all over. I just couldn't live like that any more. The reaction I got took me completely by surprise. Suddenly she wanted to make a go of the relationship and can't understand why I wanted to end it. Suddenly I'm the bad boy when I'd been trying to save us for the past 3 years.

How to stop a divorce by backing off

The lesson I learned that day is that you should never chase a failing relationship. Instead you should remain strong and make sure that you have a life apart from your loved one. Don't plead or make false promises but make sure that she sees you going out well presented, happy and living your own life. This will make you much more attractive to your partner and might just save your divorce or relationship.

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