Everyone has received feedback that was hard to take - perhaps you didn`t agree with it, it was a surprise, or it was given in a way that made it hard for you to accept.
The first key to giving better feedback is to learn lessons from when you have been given feedback. If you can correct the errors others have made with you, you are further down the path to giving more successful feedback to others.
One of the most common pieces of advice about successful feedback is what I call "The Feedback Sandwich." More on the ingredients in a minute, but like any other sandwich, making The Feedback Sandwich incorrectly can make it less palatable, and perhaps even not edible at all!
Hopefully your desire when giving feedback is that people hear it, understand it and put it to use. So it`s important to make feedback as valuable and "easy to eat" as we can. When you prepare the feedback sandwich correctly, it will have the maximum possible impact.
A Feedback Sandwich?
Here`s how the feedback sandwich is most often described:
When giving someone potentially negative feedback, make sure to give positive feedback first, then any negative feedback, and close with more positive feedback.
Do you see the sandwich? Think of the positive feedback as the bread for the negative feedback in the middle.
Think about the times when you have received feedback like this, and reflect on how well you liked it. If it was done correctly, you probably found it helpful. If not, your sandwich may have left a bad taste in your mouth.
What Makes It Unsavory
In most cases, the main appeal of a sandwich is what`s in between the bread.
It`s not a sourdough sandwich with salami and provolone, it`s a salami and cheese sandwich. You may make a bread choice, but the focus is clearly on what is inside. While this makes sense for a Club or a Rueben, it makes less sense for a feedback sandwich. Let me explain.
Feedback sandwiches can sometimes be tough to eat because the entire focus is on the middle - the negative feedback. Usually when a coach or leader or parent says they want to give someone feedback, they mean corrective (read negative) feedback. And so, while they may want to share a combination of positive negative feedback, the focus is generally on the negative, corrective feedback. This means that even though they may have thought about some positive things to say; they are more specific about the middle (the negative), more passionate about the middle and more focused on the middle.
When the receiver gets that sandwich, the positive feedback is either weak, vague or general, and it`s clearly not the focus of the conversation. This leaves the receiver with not much of a sandwich at all.
One common reaction? "They tried to sugar coat their comments with some positive stuff, but all they really wanted me to hear was what I`m doing wrong."
And the result? That feedback isn`t well received and perhaps not "eaten" at all (or is the cause of indigestion for a long time).
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