On Sunday evening, I got a call from my mother’s home attendant saying that Mom had become completely confused and speaking as though she was in the world of the past. It’s interesting how people go back in time when they can’t remember where or who they are and can’t recognize familiar faces. Later, when I arrived at the emergency room, my mother did not recognize me. She thought I was one of the doctors. On the one hand, it was a bit encouraging that she understood that she was in the hospital, but on a personal level, I was in shock. I walked over to the nurses’ station and stood there accessing another realm of calm and internally crying out to HaShem for at least some face recognition and the return of that loving smile that radiates whenever I come into her line of sight.

Then after speaking to her doctor, I returned and Mom looked at me and said, "Doctor, you look a lot like my son."

"Maybe that’s because I am."

She looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, then broke into her usual smile, and said, "Oh; well that explains it then."

This miracle was not just a return from a world in which everything familiar seemed strange, but it was the sudden turning of a life-altering event into a humorous anecdote.

In a deeper reality, this entire episode was about words, because the only way we can tell whether someone is oriented, confused or insane is by what he or she says. The words we speak are more powerful than any weapon because words create the reality in which we live. With words, we can make friends or enemies, start wars or make peace. We can build up our friends or rip them apart merely by what we say. With one utterance, we can impact a child positively or negatively for the rest of his or her life and beyond. Thus, it is no wonder that the Title of the fifth book of the Chumash (The Five Books of Moses) is "Devarim", which is the Hebrew word for "Words". Moses begins his final admonishment of the children of Israel by reminding us that it was the words of slander that caused the most harm in bringing about the decree that all of the males of that generation would die in the desert.

During this three-week period of mourning the loss of the Holy Temple, the idea of "words" is paramount because the start of all of the baseless hatred that destroyed our ancestral home was the insulting manner of speech in everyday conversations. In today’s world, nothing has changed with respect to the power of words. Everything we say ripples throughout the universe and determines whether good or evil will fall back on us at some point in our future. Sometimes the effect is immediate and sometimes it’s delayed by years. The point is that we need to regard everything we say as though it will come true so that we can be very careful with what comes out of our mouths. The Second Temple survived many sins such as adultery, idolatry, blasphemy, immorality, lying, theft and even murder; but it did not survive the discord and infighting that developed from malicious words. Whenever we say unkind things to one another, the Satan goes to the Master of the Universe and says, "You see, your children are still showing signs of baseless hatred. Therefore, they are not yet ready for Mashiach."

In conclusion, these three weeks are an auspicious time because we are grieving and HaShem grieves with us. During my thirty years as a nurse, I have seen many families begin their bereavement over the death of a loved one and the first thing they do is draw closer to each other for support. Thus, our relationship with HaShem and each other is no different, so our Heavenly Father draws us closer to him to support us in our time of sorrow and receives consolation from us as well. Therefore, we can do no less for each other.