At first, when the children come along and take so much time and caring, the partners, if they do not budget time together, will become separated in mind and activity. Remember always that the husband and wife are central to the family unit. Remember that love is spelled "Time" here as well. Respect for each other and building the basic communication lines are critical throughout marriage and need to be developed and expanded upon, ever increasingly, all during life.

Another key focus on family is the commitment level of the partners. This is a time-honored idea that marriages are not just romantic interludes. They are formed by partners with crucial elements in common, qualities that when cultivated, make possible the long-term togetherness and support necessary to the continuing marital romance and commitment. To me, it is a given that religious commitment has beneficial effects on marriage. Religious affiliation in common, is particularly important for a successful union.

Shared religious commitment alone does not the better marriage make. It does however, become a prime motivator to strengthen the marriage and encourage development of the qualities necessary for success: qualities as selflessness and commitment. Religion certainly enhances promoting the personal skills required for happiness in life as well as in marriage. Some of those being patience, long suffering, gentleness, meekness, forgiveness, mutual respect, gratitude and certainly conflict resolution.

Finally, it takes organization. Looking at the same organization and structure that successful businesses require helps us in implementing similar focus to make a family unit more successful. Leadership of the parents; delegating responsibilities with accountability and reporting back; regular family council meetings to discuss goals and set up mutually agreeable rules to govern themselves; personal interviews with each member at least weekly; a solid budget system and mutual accounting open and shared are certainly possible elements to create the communication and training for each in the family.

Families are the place to develop the skills and attributes for successful living and I recommend establishing a family motto, mission statement and organized work and fun along with the religious foundation developed by worshiping together. These are to me basic fundamentals to focus on the family.

Carol Ann Stott

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