All relationships go through different stages and cycles, whether we realise it or not. Are you madly in lust, or passionately in love?
Do you adore or hate each other, or are you simply going through a period of feeling irritated and sick-to-death of one another? As Denise Knowles from Relate says: 'All good relationships are destined to go through ups and downs no matter if you've been together two years or 20 years.' So what stage is your relationship at, and where are you heading next? Here's what you need to get through both the good times and the bad.
The Romance Stage
What is it? We're talking goofy grins, soppy texts, sexy underwear and spontaneous sex, yes you're in the hearts and roses stage of your relationship and things couldn't be better.
The good news Right now you can't get enough of each other. You want to gaze adoringly into each other's eyes, and think willingly about each other 24/7, which is good news for your intimacy and connection levels and fantastic news for the longevity of your relationship.
The bad news 'This is an OTT phase', warns relationship expert Tracey Cox and author of Hot Relationships (Corgi) so you tend to overlook each other's shortcomings. 'No matter how long you've been together, this can later lead to difficulties in your relationship as you willingly skim over potential problems.'
The answer, says Tracey, 'is to enjoy letting your heart rule your head for a while but don't make any rash decisions that you could later regret.'
You'll know you're moving on... The next part of the cycle will be on its way when the urge for a bit of time apart keeps entering your head. However, don't mourn the romance cycle passing, it'll be back before you know it.
The Reality Stage
What is it? This is the post-honeymoon stage, the cycle where you start to nit-pick and bicker realising that your 'perfect' lover is not so perfect after all. It's still love but with the romantic edges rubbed off.
The good news No matter how many times you are at this stage, it will help you to define and redefine your relationship. Not only will it help you move to a deeper stage of understanding but also with all the lust out of the equation, it can help you to confirm the real reasons why you want to be with each other.
The bad news You may find your negative thoughts a little nerve-wracking and might start to think that you're not right for each other.
If you do feel this way, don't do anything hasty. 'All that's happening', says Tracey Cox, 'is you are reconciling your glorified image of this person from the romantic phase with a more realistic view of who he is and how you fit together.'
You'll know you're moving on... The good news is you're ready for the next and more committed cycle when it hits you that faults and all, you love this man for who he is.
The Commitment Stage
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