It's interesting that people will spend a lot of thought and time on choosing a significant purchase - say a car or a house - but not give the same kind of thought when it comes to choosing a life partner. Sure they think about it at length and maybe have a dream that they will meet a perfect replica of George Clooney, Michelle Pfeiffer, or whatever is their taste. That aside, it is surprising how many people can't clearly define what they are looking for.

Maybe they feel that they will know it when they find it. A guy I know was in the tie section of a major store, when an assistant asked him what kind of tie he was looking for! So there are some times when it really is a case of 'I'll know it when I see it.'

So instead of just waiting and hoping, what about making a list of what is important to you, and how important it is? Yes this will sound a bit pedantic and clinical, but it is the only sound way to get a clear idea. And you could find you are in for a surprise or two along the way, with things you never really considered before you sat down to do this exercise.

Let's take as an example, choosing a house / flat / apartment etc. The method goes like this: firstly you take some time to list all the features you would like. For example: two bedrooms, facing South, adequate parking, cost less than £X, freehold or long lease, no neighbour problems, available within two months....we could go on and on. And that is the point - do list absolutely everything that is important to you. If it's not important, don't include it. The second and really important stage is to decide how important each thing is to you. Some would be deal-breakers (meaning if this isn't right, you'll walk away and look elsewhere). This feature, whatever it is, is a must-have. My dad for example, always said never buy anywhere that might flood. Yeah yeah, we thought, fine...but in recent years, sudden freak weather has rather proved he had a point. But the key thing is to decide on your deal-breakers, whatever they may be.

After listing your deal-breakers - you then need to rank how important each of the other things is to you. What other people think is irrelevant. It's what YOU want that matters. So maybe you give a score out of 5 to each item, where 5 is top importance and 1 is still important, but low priority. You can see how this will help you make an impartial decision when it comes to properties that you look at, because you have already decided on the factors that matter. You then just score each property according on each factor, and add up your totals.

This may sound rather unromantic and clinical, but you can apply this system to help understand what you are looking for in your prospective partner. Which in turn, may help you work out where is the best place to find that person. And how to write a profile for online dating sites that helps other members to decide if they fit or don't. Saving their time and yours. After all, this article is addressed to people who are looking for that 'life partner' and what could be more important than that?

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