How can you know if your connection to someone, something, or an event is an ego or energetic connection?

Ask yourself, without censor, what it is you feel.

If your predominant feeling is fearful, anxious, stressed, or anything along this line, you are engaged in an ego connection. An ego connection has an agenda. The desired goal is to feel the way we want to feel which triggers an agenda at the inner level. Agendas based on ego connections remind me of a three-year-old child who wants what he or she wants. The action taken is usually based in and stimulated by the emotional attachment to attaining whatever is believed will make the desired feeling happen. The key energy is usually about pushing or contriving for what is desired.

An energetic connection has a graceful sense of being in flow about it. It’s easy, energizing, and open to possibilities. You and what or whomever you are involved with enjoy a primarily positive energy exchange. The goal is usually to ride the wave of mostly positive experiences that result from this kind of connection. There is no agenda, though, just vibrational matches and willingness to participate and flow. You feel the way you desire to feel because you choose to. Nothing external supplies this feeling, though may enhance it.

I articulated this to myself recently as a result of an exchange that happened with someone I was interested in engaging in a particular way. Our communication went in a strange direction and I asked myself, "What is it that I really want here?" The reality that I had an agenda to feel a certain way in regard to this person became clear. It wasn’t about energetic connection. Energetic connection had not been established.

This realization touched other parts of my life. If I felt anxious or stressed rather than eager, it was obvious I was in ego-connection mode. This mode does not allow energy to flow or to match vibrations with what I desire, but rather to what I don’t. I began a process where I now remind myself: ego connection vs. energetic connection, and I literally feel an upward shift in my energy. What especially happens is I feel myself relax about whatever I’m focused on. Relaxed energy and feelings attract and allow more of what I desire to experience.

You can think of any goal you have whether it’s about a personal or professional relationship, something you wish to buy, or something you wish to do or believe you have to do and ask if you have an ego or energetic connection going on.

Pick one thing right now that you have your attention on. Are you more aware of an agenda, a need to have it happen so you can feel a certain way, or do you feel excited and engage in a positive way?

Here are four questions to ask: In one word, how do you feel right now about this particular matter? In one word, how do you want to feel once you have this thing you desire? What really stops you from feeling at least some of this feeling right now? If you could choose to feel this feeling right now, even a little, would you choose to?

Nothing stops us from feeling the way we wish to feel except our choice to feel differently. If we allow the inner power shift that results from determining whether it’s an ego or energetic connection we have and allow it to speak to us, we move a step forward towards what it is we truly desire.