How often have you said to your best friend "I just want to get my ex back"? Saying isn't going to make it happen. Jumping head first into accusations and pointing fingers isn't going to make it happen either.

I often get asked that one simple question by people that have just gone through a break up "How can I get my ex back now?".

It is actually a simple question to answer but so many people, like I did, get it so wrong. The reason we get it wrong and fail is because of emotional attachment. We see the good in something when we miss it. Remember how great it was being in high school with no worries? Think again. All we wanted was to be out of there, fast. It's the same when we break up with a person we realize we want to be with.

Here's my 3 simple steps to getting your ex back:

Step 1. Look critically at the reason for the break up in the first place. Be honest with yourself and dig deep. Find the real answer for the break up and you can move on. If you try to fix a relationship without addressing those reasons it is like building a house on quicksand.

Step 2. Keep your head up high and don't lose your dignity. Many of my girlfriends, like me, have turned from being confident women into dribbling 'yes' woman whenever we lost a boyfriend. The last thing you should do is to beg and grovel to get him back. Be strong and realize that you are a good person and don't need to act all needy. Be strong.

Step 3. Have a plan for when you next meet your ex. This is the most important step. Be ready. You want to be in control of both the meeting and your emotions. Just try to have a reason that is not related to your break up for meeting and be confident and strong during that meeting.

After these three steps you are now ready to move forward. If that means getting your ex back then you can start to slowly introduce more and more meetings with your ex and begin to let them see what they are missing. This system works because you lose that emotional stronghold on your relationship and start to act confidently again. It's exactly what I did. Trust me.