Answer the following questions. What are the advantages to having a relationship? How will it improve your life? List as many as you can think of.

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2.

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5.

What are the disadvantages to having a relationship? How will it affect your live negatively? List as many as you can think of.

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5.

In order to resolve any concerns you have about relationships, you first must be aware and understand of them. Now that you have made your lists, please examine the disadvantages. Fantasy is a way of avoiding confronting such feelings. They must not be discounted, and you should ponder them closely. They constitute important obstacles standing in your way of having the relationship you desire. With this new awareness, you are now enabled to begin to resolve these concerns.

Touchstone 3

How to deal with people who are waiting for the perfect mate.

Be aware when a person is seeking an image, know that you will never perfectly fill that bill. Be who you are. Don't turn yourself into someone you think he/she will enjoy. They will know what you are doing, lose respect, run away.

Be warm and caring. Touch your mate softly. Don't reject his/her fantasies. If he/she is a person who is controlled by his peer group, see if you fit into his/her group image? For some people, the perfect person is stable, without too much passion. For others, it's just the opposite. Find out who the person is. If you do not fit his/her image, say good-bye, don't conform.

Realize that everything changes. What seems perfect one day will seem flawed the next. Examine your feelings about yourself, the ways in which you feel imperfect. Work on these issues directly; Another person can never complete something you are lacking within. See if your desire for perfection is simply a way of avoiding falling from love. It is easier to focus on what is wrong with a person than on what is right? Make a practice of finding everything that is right about all the people you meet, day after day. This will bring you an entirely new perception of people and of life. Accept your own flaws, do not judge them. The more you love and accept yourself, the more perfect others will seem.

Rather than look down upon others, make an effort to focus upon their beauty and goodness. Even if he/she isn't the right one for you, you can train yourself to find reality positive and comforting.

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