Why is it that anger takes so much of our emotional strength and leaves us feeling that we have achieved nothing as a result of it? Of course, there are times that our anger has a positive effect when it drives us to positive change.

This is because anger can be constructive or destructive. If you are angry at something or someone, it is destructive and negative. However, if your anger is for something, it is constructive and positive.

Destructive anger saps our energy and destroys relationships. It takes away our happiness and, if left unchecked, can leave us sinking into depression and depressive habits such as alcohol and drug abuse, or violence. How many people incarcerated in our prisons are there as a result of destructive anger that they have failed to bring under control?

Constructive anger, on the other hand, is one born of passion. It is anger for something such as an issue or a situation that is perceived to be unfair. Look at those who have fought for changes in civil rights and other issues over the years. Their anger over the situation motivated them to fight for change. They see a situation of social injustice, poverty, racial, or other inequalities and they direct their constructive anger rather than allowing their anger to consume them.

The important thing is to question your anger. Are you angry at something or angry for something? There are physical signs that identify the anger as well. When it is destructive anger, your body tenses up and you feel like you may explode. However, constructive anger makes you feel that you are being driven by an inner force. Identifying the type of anger helps you to make the right decision. You need to resolve the destructive anger or express the constructive anger and take proper steps to changing the injustice that this positive anger is aimed toward.

Unfortunately, the greater majority of a person’s anger is of the destructive type. Actually this makes it easier to eliminate as you come to a proper understanding of it. To overcome this anger, you must identify what is causing it and learn how to nip it in the bud before it becomes all-consuming.

One thing that people need to do is to listen properly. By this, I don’t only mean hearing the spoken word but identifying the meaning behind those words. How many times have you or someone you know become angry because of a ‘misunderstanding’? This is common because of our tendency to hear words literally. Sometimes our interpretation of another’s words can depend on our mood. For instance, if a person is feeling a little irritable, they may interpret words negatively regardless of their meaning. This may quickly lead to confrontation.

Only you are accountable for your reactions to what others say and your interpretation of what they mean so you yourself choose whether to make it confrontational or seek clarification. Think about it the next time you let negative anger try to invade your state of mind.