From Pickupmastery.com:
Indisputably, the biggest problem that faces the new pick-up artist is anxiety that comes from approaching a woman he desires. There have been quite a few explanations for this, ranging from tribal history that has been implanted in our genes, to societal programming on what is right and wrong for us to do.
Put simply, we just happen to desire social acceptance more than anything else that does not physically keep us alive. We want our family to be proud of us, our friends and acquaintances to respect and include us, and the rest of the world to desire us.
What’s the opposite of acceptance? Rejection. And that’s what we’re afraid of.
I’m going to give you some powerful techniques to eradicate this fear’s hold on your life, but before that, I want to discuss the root of this in depth for you.
We’re going to call a girl or group not being interested as something other than “rejection” or “getting rejected.” After all, you didn’t get rejected. Your approach did. If you went in differently, the reaction would have been different. We’re going to call it “getting blown out” or a “blow-out.” This is because while the set didn’t know enough about you to reject you personally, they did express that they wanted to end the interaction.
Your use of words is very important. A good friend of mine is fond of saying, “The first set of the night is always murder.” Now if you’re equating talking to a girl with someone ending your life, of course you will be more than a little hesitant to make that first approach! Anthony Robbins has set up a whole system on how to use your word choice to better your life. I won’t get into it here, but in short, minimize your negative word usage, especially if you’re describing something that’s necessary for you. If you say “Going to the gym is a royal pain in the ass,“ you probably won’t make it there very often. However, if you say “Getting to the gym consistently is a challenge,” it’s a lot more likely you’ll rise to the occasion. So to sum up, I NEVER want to hear you say “I got rejected.”
While word choice is important, a bigger issue that holds the outcome of the set. In other words, you are giving two girls thirty seconds to give a full evaluation of your value as a person and judge you accordingly. That’s a lot of power to give someone you’ve never met before.
There’s only three reasons an approach might not go well for me:
1) My game wasn’t good enough at this point to handle this particular situation
2) My game was good enough, but I made a mistake in this particular situation
3) There were extenuating circumstances that prevented success, despite that I ran a good set.
That’s it. There are no possibilities for why it can go wrong.
In my years in the game, I’ve met plenty of people that make their living teaching men how to pick-up women. These men pick-up beautiful women right in front of their students, sometimes on video-tape. Some of these guys, if you saw them, would blow your mind because they are not attractive by any standards. They have huge guts, often are balding, sometimes pasty white, and sometimes pretty short and frail. This is a hard thing to accept until you’re actually seen this, but you definitely do not need to be good looking to attract women. The point I’m trying to make is:
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