Who’s Taking Responsibility for Your Life?

"Many of you still have this childlike notion that you don’t have to take too much responsibility for finding your own happiness. You still believe in the fairy tale that it is someone else’s fault that you are not happy or successful."
Dr. Phil McGraw
Author: Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out

Webster’s Definition of Responsible: "To be liable and accountable for one’s acts or decisions; answerable."

Today’s society would like us to believe that our situation or anything else that keeps us from achieving our wants or desires is someone else’s fault. Of course, deep down we know this is utterly false. Responsibility is the high road; to not take responsibility means we can blame everyone but ourselves for our current circumstances.

Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled stated that one of the most difficult psychological conditions to treat is Character Disorder—where a person truly believes other people are to blame for all his or her unfortunate situations. How do you treat people who blame everyone and everything and take no personal responsibility? Character Disorder is a sad and pathetic condition.

Just look at the law suits caused by adults who are assuming no responsibility for their choices. One example is individuals who are taking fast food businesses to court because they claim they got fat from the food the business served. Hey—these people drove themselves to the location, ordered, paid, and ate the stuff; where does their responsibility come into play? Individuals who blame others have not only relinquished responsibility, they have transferred power, control, and influence over their lives to someone or something else.

I want you to think about individuals you know whom you respect and, in your opinion, are very successful and happy in their lives. Of these individuals, how many constantly blame others for their situation? How many play the victim card or make excuses for their situation? If your experience is similar to mine, almost nobody with those characteristics would have your respect, nor would he or she be successful. Acting like/being a victim and being successful and happy rarely coexists.

I’ll share a personal example. A few years ago a friend became involved in an investment opportunity. After several months of checking out the venture, I invested thousands of dollars into the project. Several months later—ironically, on 9/11—it was discovered that the entire investment scheme was a con. Over $1 million from several investors was lost. I was a victim of a crime, yet I take responsibility for my choices. Nobody made me invest; I made that choice. If I did not take responsibility for my choices, it would be like giving my power and control over to the criminals—which would be worse than giving them my money.

Where in your life are you not taking responsibility for your situation or condition . . . in your health, relationships, business success, personal success, financial condition, plus much more? Groups in society can take this position, too. I’m not saying we shouldn’t grant compassion or support but former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura said it best when he spoke to a single mom demonstrating for financial support on the steps of the Legislature: "You made the choice to sleep with a stranger, which resulted in your child. Why should society and taxpayers pay for your choice? It’s time you took responsibility for your actions."

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