1. Write a love letter when you’re feeling loving

Its purpose is to express your depth of feeling – your unrestrained emotions. It’s not like a shopping list that you can jot down just by picking up a pen. The intensity of those feelings hitchhike on the words and will be “felt” by the receiver.

2. Hold the image of your lover in your mind, and open your heart to them

Let it flow. Capture the emotions that arise from your core. Expressing them adds an eloquence seldom evoked by daily conversations. The language of love is as artful as a dance. Its goal is to delight, rather than to inform. To caress with emotional undertones, rather than to bludgeon with facts.

3. Avoid any practical matters that puncture the mood

This moment is an escape from the tyranny of routine responsibilities. That will come back soon enough. For the moment, only your beloved matters. It’s often said that love is timeless – sink into the timelessness of it. It’s a profound experience – a bonus for writing from (and with) the heart.

4. Take your time in the writing and polishing of it

Short or long, this is a unique mode of communication. It doesn’t follow the rules of grammar or business correspondence. Savor the writing experience – you’re doing it for them. Avoid second-guessing what you’ve said (the mind wants to jump in and edit, but doesn’t speak this language well).

5. Use adjectives and descriptive images to “paint” a picture with words

A love letter creates an alternate reality. One that the heart desires – and shares with another. And in it the rest of the world is held at bay. Don’t feel shy about writing "poetically" to evoke an emotional response. But don’t force it either. Get into specific details about every aspect of their personality, behavior, etc. Don’t worry about saying too much; a person never gets bored by hearing too many wonderful things about himself or herself.

6. Speak what’s true for you – what your feelings believe

Truth takes on its own shades of meaning when it comes to romance. Your letter should tell what’s true about them (or your relationship) in your eyes. When you say “you’re the most wonderful person…” with sincerity, it’s absolutely true.

7. Realize that a love letter is a frame of mind that helps to keep love alive

And it can and should creep into aspects of your relationship. Expressing love is active. Don’t simply say it, demonstrate it. In a hundred little ways. That’s how the “ties that bind” are created.

8. Express appreciation for who they are, and why they’re important to you

That person is special – and special to you. Make sure they know it. Unlike a “Thank You” note (which has a sense of obligation about it) this is a “Thank Heaven for You!” note.

9. Escape your romantic routines, so your passionate messages stay fresh

The goal isn’t to be “good at love letter writing.” It’s not a technique to be mastered (though you will get better as you continue). The best ones arise from passion. Their authentic and sincere message arises spontaneously. You want to keep re-discovering each other, so your relationship keeps growing.

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