Yes, while you were married you probably thought of public speaking as the most frightening activity you could attempt. The very thought of a crowd of strangers looking at you, listening to how you speak, making judgments about who you are and what you know, caused the average marriage partner to freeze in panic. You watched others speak publicly, and probably thought.."Man oh man, better them than me".
Then you got divorced, and at some point you realized that you were expected to date. Your face went pale, you experienced cold sweats, and you swore you'd be willing to speak to angry crowds rather than go through dating again.
After all, dating couldn't be like it was way back when, right? It was sort of easy back then. We came together easily, and we parted ways easily. but now? Me? Date? OMG.
The truth is, is that it hasn't really changed. At least the people haven't changed much. Most of them are the same ones you grew up around and experienced all those similar experiences with. Yes, the periphery has changed, but we're basically still the same.
What you'll find below is a compilation of two lists. Dating "Do's" that suggest what to place importance on, and "Don'ts", obviously thoughts and activities that can be obstacles to successfully making friends. Remember one thing in all this. You're looking to engage a subset of people in order to find one or more that share your interests, beliefs or activities. Most won't fit quite right. Some will. Just make friends. Most people are looking for friends too.
There's some controversy about when one should begin the dating process. That answer will be found in your personal beliefs and ability to recover from trauma. Some believe that, for religious reasons, a person should not date until the ink is dry on a divorce decree. Your state's laws may support the notion that any dating while legally married is adultery. Make sure you check your state's laws. Others believe you should date once you've emotionally healed from the loss of a love. There is a body of thinking that suggests that in order to figure how long it will take you to heal, you should take the number of married years and divide by two. This author recognizes that healing begins when it does, which can include before or during a divorce separation, and for some, that healing can be complete before the final gavel on the divorce. Everyone is different. Once you're indifferent to what the ex does and says, you're healed.
During your divorce, you were concerned with child custody, divorce laws, child support, , alimony, separation, legally separated, divorce recovery, advice, statutes, divorce settlement, family law, recovery, divorce articles, legal, visitation, fathers rights, marital separation, annulment, parental alienation, healing, spiritual, lawyers, grounds for divorce, mediation, divorce support, adultery, counseling, common law, grandparents rights and more. Now its time for the new you.
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