Stopping My Divorce and Accepting My Spouse

FamilyDivorce

  • Author Mark Jordan
  • Published April 8, 2009
  • Word count 553

You are not alone if you are going through a very rough period where you feel your love is ending, it is on a downward spiral and you are pleading, at least to yourself, "Help, please stop my divorce." Many people have been in your situation and suffered this torment. Many have saved their marriage and yet others have not, but still found themselves in a happy situation later on. If you don't want to get to the "nearly divorced" point there are things you can do to prevent getting there.

You are going to have to first be realistic. Not every relationship can be saved, no matter how much you proclaim "stop my divorce." You may be very excited about getting started on the ways to save your marriage but you should at the same time be mentally prepared for any possible bad outcomes. This is simply being realistic about life and not a pessimistic view.

The first thing to do to "stop my divorce" is to not rush off to a divorce lawyer. Seek out marriage counselors or family therapists who can work with you and your spouse in the healing process. They are experienced at handling couples on the verge of divorce who want to stop it. They are trained in helping relationships even if there is adultery involved. Many marriages have been brought back from the edge because of therapy or counseling. Therapists are used to dealing with depression, infidelity, physical problems and other stresses that bring a marriage to the point of divorce. Marriage counseling is not necessarily expensive and it may very well be worth the modest cost you may incur, before assuming you need to see a divorce lawyer.

Try not to argue with your spouse. That is one thing you can learn to do to "stop my divorce." Arguing will only make things worse. Sometimes simply ceasing all the arguing will prevent you and your spouse from having to visit a lawyer. When you are arguing you are not "discussing" things, but simply trying to force the other person to think like you. If you seriously want to stop your divorce then you should know that the battle you are fighting is against separation and not against your spouse. The more you argue and try to convince the other person they are wrong the more you will be convinced they are wrong! That will not prevent your divorce.

Accept what your spouse is trying to say when they communicate with you. Don’t argue back all the time trying to defend yourself, even if you are right. Find something true in what your spouse says and agree with it. The more you agree to little things the more they will agree with what you say. They will see that you are willing to see their side of the story and be more open to communication. Marriage counseling is great at helping you understand how to communicate better if you really want to "stop my divorce."

Being willing to act is the first step in helping you to end your plea of "stop my divorce." In this article we have mentioned only parts of what you can do to help your marriage survive. At some point you have to quit talking about it and take action.

Mark D. Jordan is a writer and researcher living in Pennsylvania. Helpful relationship advice can be read at Stop My Divorce and learning how to cope with breakups can be read at Dealing With Breakups

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